If you’re a feminist or an educator, you may want to be strong and solid about accepting yourself and being accepting. But we all have bad days. Do you ever feel bad about feeling bad??

Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com and Ashley Manta from http://www.AshelyManta.com share.


Cathy: Do you ever feel bad because you’re feeling bad? Especially if you’re a sex educator or feminist you think that … you’re out there sharing the message that you get to feel wonderful about your body and you get to appreciate it where ever you are and sometimes I feel guilty if I’m not in that space. I’m Cathy Vartuli from http://TheIntimacyDojo.com and I’m here with Ashley Manta from http://AshleyManta.com. Hey Ashley.

Ashley: Hey Cathy.

Cathy: Do you experience that as well?

Ashley: I really do, I have struggled with body image for my entire life. At one point I had an eating disorder and I was down to 132 pounds and I hated my body then and now I’m back up above 250 pounds and there are days that I hate my body now. I still really believe that you should love your body at any size and feel good about yourself and sometimes I do feel really bad on the days that I can’t handle looking in the mirror or that I look down at my stomach and feel gross. I’m like does that make me a bad feminist?

Cathy: No.

Ashley: But it doesn’t.

Cathy: No.

Ashley: It doesn’t because we’re human and we’re all struggling though this kind of together. It felt good to really be able to reach out to people through the blog that I wrote last week and say this is something that I struggle with and every single person that read it said oh my god. Even other sex educators said I feel exactly the same way and I’m so glad that somebody admitted that they feel bad.

Cathy: Yes I think it’s about turnaround time. None of us are always going to love ourselves. I really felt very accepting about my body and that I’ll go to a new experience. My boss was super sick for a while and I gained some weight from the stress. We didn’t know if he was going to make it and I turned to the old comfort foods and stuff. There really isn’t anything wrong. My body is amazing, it’s healthy, it’s happy and I feel like you kind of run into like I don’t know if it’s ok now. It was ok at 310, I’m not sure if it’s ok at 315. We have weird things about numbers in our heads but I think it is about turnaround. It’s like how quickly do we notice and how quickly do we not shame ourselves about it but gently guide ourselves back.

Ashley: Yes it’s really important … I try to notice when I’m feeling particularly bad about myself and sometimes my boyfriend will gently correct me and he’ll be like don’t talk about my girlfriend that way and I’ll say ok yes, all right I do love my body and I’ll try to take some time and reflect and recognize the things about my body that I do really appreciate. I love my breasts, they’re fantastic. No matter what size I am they’re still fantastic so try to focus on the good.

Cathy: Yes, I’ve actually found it helpful to either journal or write a list of things I appreciate myself on a good day. I’ll just write a list of 10 or 20 things and then when I’m having a really bad day where I feel like I should crawl under the covers and never come out, I can read that list and go oh yes, ok I’m not a horrible person. If you’re feeling bad about feeling bad and then shaming yourself or you have friends that are shaming you about it and that does happen in this community some where you’re supposed to be the role model for that; if you just take a deep breath and know that everybody does this. I love that you’re transparent on your blog. The more people are transparent it makes it easier. Everybody gets faster turnarounds so they’re not ashamed and not locking themselves into the, oh I’m feeling guilty and I have to hide this feeling.

Ashley: Definitely, we’re all human; we’re all in this together and if we can all be authentic with our feelings and admit the days that we’re struggling we can support each other and raise each other up on the days that it’s hard to do it for ourselves.

Cathy: Yes, I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that Ashley. If you send me the link to your blog I’ll put it below in the description.

Ashley: Absolutely.

Cathy: We’d love to hear from you viewers. What happens for you on a bad day and what triggers a bad day for you? The more we share this the more people feel not alone and when we’re not alone we can move through things a lot faster. Thank you Ashley.

Ashley: Thanks Cathy.

Cathy: Bye everyone.

Ashley: Bye.

 

More articles about business advice:

How Do You Deal When Someone Shames You For Being A Sex Educator?

Buying Online Information Products? Save Money and Get Prizes!