How Do You Deal With Jealousy Of Sex Ed Peers?
With Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com and Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com.
Cathy: Someone wrote and said I really loved that I have some amazing friends in the sex ed business. My peers are amazing, they’re great people I noticing though that I have a lot of jealousy. One of my friends just released a book and there’s a big to-do over it and other friends is giving side talk at Ted. How do I deal with it? I wanna genuinely happy and appreciative and I’m kinda like what about me? Why am I not getting work recognition and I’m feeling jealous. How do I handle that?
Reid: Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Cathy: And Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com.
Reid: And I have the green shirt it’s the Sex Geek Summer Camp. This is a business advice video for our sex educators workshops few our friends out there, you know who you are.
Cathy: And you can find at more http://www.sexgeeksummercamp.com/.
Reid: So yeah, Professional envy, professional jealousy, loved it. Never feels comfortable but it’s not supposed to.
Cathy: And I think lots of us feel it. It’s like scrolling through Facebook going, Oh my god all these people are doing all these stuff.
Reid: My advice, is what could you do or investigate to turn envy and jealousy to inspiration. How could you look at your friend released a book and this thing to do as being a signal or way for you to realize ‘oh that’s an invitation for me to release a book as well, whether like, that’s a good thing to do because we need these kinds of books. So how could you celebrates other people’s wins and accomplishments and the judo flip the jealousy and the envy to be inspiring for you. And for some of us, I just have my envy just motivate me to do better in what I do, so this might have an enlighten positive like go go light, I transformed my jealousy and envy to white lies and inspiration. You think you just need to be like, mother fucker I will crash them but in the positive way. Don’t hate them and use it to motivate yourself and get yourself excited and sometimes negative motivation really is a kick in the ass some people need not everybody. Practice congratulating your peers, promote their stuff so that you can train yourself that when you feel envious, you always take positive reaction.
Cathy: If people I feel safe enough I will them, hey that was amazing I actually feel really jealous. Can I pick your brain out for some reason? Let them absorb that their doing a great job, congratulate them and say, I sometime would ask them. Can you give me some tips you’re not really that a book once out of the park that was like, I saw it everywhere, and how did you do that? Can you give me some pointers and if I get a Meta about what do I like about what they did, I notice my own response to it. I might be able to tweet my own launch if that happened.
Reid: I also understand that a lot of things are kicking up with negative thoughts about yourself so you feel envious about the book but it also reinforces that you could never write a book. Get a therapist oto that stuff, get some other modalities like tapping and what not to work on. And I’ll pee when use well, there’s different modalities where you can start harnessing, Identifying the negative things you feel about yourself and start removing those blocks so that you can really have that professional envy and jealousy wash over you as good thing. As a way for you to be like, oh that’s right, I should be writing a book or right, I should be submitting for a Ted talk. And then you got to the steps, what are the steps you need to do maybe you hire the Ted talk person as a mentor to help you to get your thing done. Or ask them can they mentor you for exchange of dinner or you’re like doing the taxes you can do the tax. Whatever that is, don’t let it stops you, it’s a signal in dashboard on your dashboard light panel that’s there an opportunity for you to rewire something so that it can becomes inspiring.
Cathy: And also you can, one thing I learned when I’m looking at Facebook it’s really easy to see the momentarily like celebrities and ignore the 6 months of labor they put in to it. Or imagine someone’s life is perfect, I see 5 different people just does this amazing things. I don’t, I may get pulled in ahh, I really wanna do a Ted Walk talk because that person did, maybe that’s not myself expression for examples. So it’s easy to get pulled in and forget about the labor like and it has to be not just the recognition, it has to be the passion to it.
Reid: You need to put in a work, like sometimes the work is simple but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. And surround yourself with people who believe in you which sure you’re on.
Cathy: Like at http://www.ReidAboutSex.com.
Reid: Come network and what not, and we’ll find other events. There’s a lot of sex positive conferences out there that are great, the sex educator world are expanding and we need more diversity and we need more voices. So, how can you help each other out as well is really useful coz you’re adding value and making possible for other human being is often a great way for you to start realizing you can do it too. Leave your comments. See you in the next video.