And what about pronouns?
With Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com, Andi Cortland from http://www.LevelUpSex.com.
Cathy: What is genderqueer? I’m Catherine Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com. I’m really honored to be joined today by Andi Cortland.
Andi: From http://www.LevelUpSex.com. Today, we’re talking about genderqueer. For me, that means that I don’t feel like a man. I don’t feel like a woman. I just feel like a human. It would be pretty awesome if people could just treat me like a fellow human being.
Cathy: Just to distinguish, some people identify as queer, meaning that they like to sleep with people of different genders and expressions. Genderqueer is the internal expression. Queer is who they express it with.
Andi: Exactly. Genderqueer is who you are. Queer is who you like to sleep with.
Cathy: What are some other words? Genderqueer people also call it bisexual. Even in more conventional society, they would call it that, but that doesn’t really …
Andi: That’s not really it. It’s that most of the time. I don’t feel like the word male or the word female describes me. There are a variety of terms people use for that. Sometimes people will say androgynous. Sometimes people will say gender fluid. Sometimes people will say neutrois, many different words like that. I like genderqueer because it’s kind of an umbrella term.
Cathy: What about pronouns? I know that can be challenging for a lot of people. What pronouns do you prefer?
Andi: I prefer to use the pronoun they, but here is where it gets complicated. I have noticed that with certain people at certain times she or he feels better.
Cathy: I noticed with us, we were sitting at home having lunch and he refers as she to you. We were having a conversation and it was really natural to want to flow with that and say she even though I know you prefer they.
Andi: Exactly. Because most of the time, I don’t feel like a man or a woman, I wanted a gender neutral pronoun so I picked they. It’s very easy to use. “How did you meet them? Where are they from?” That’s what I prefer most of the time.
Cathy: If you’re talking to someone who says they’re genderqueer, it can because really nice to ask them, “What pronoun do you prefer?”
Andi: Totally, and ask them what genderqueer means to them because what it means to me is that I just feel like a human and not necessarily like a gendered person, but for different people it means different things.
Cathy: Thanks for watching. We hope this helped. Really appreciate you sharing this with us.
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