What do you do if someone has a new cool sex toy and you want to see it? Do you just grab it?
With Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com and Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com.
Cathy: A good friend shows up with their brand new sex toy. So cool.
Reid: It’s so shiny.
Cathy: It’s nice and bright and it’s one you’ve wanted to see forever.
Reid: I want to touch it.
Cathy: What do you do?
Reid: You ask. I’m Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com
Cathy: I’m Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Reid: Treat other people’s sex toys like you would … well, we don’t really have an equivalent. I was going to say like a samurai sword or something. You have to ask before you touch personal things of people. Again, this is just polite. I mean it’s a big deal. People’s toys, some people are very attached in very particular ways. Some people have agreements with their lovers to only use certain toys with certain people. It’s really good etiquette to be like, “Oh my goodness, may I look at or may I touch your toy? I’ve always wanted to see one of those. I would love to touch it. May I?” Give people room to say yes or no. Don’t say, “May I touch it?” and then already be holding it.
Cathy: Right. It’s like a woman’s boobs. Would you go and say, “Oh my God, they’re so great and shiny?” Probably not. Well hopefully they’re not shiny. It is hard. One time I brought out my, I had my Njoy, my beautiful Njoy, stainless steel, and it was really funny to watch someone catch himself. He was like, “I wanted to see that.” Like, “Oh, wait, is it okay if I touch it?” It was great, I love being asked, but it is proper etiquette to ask, and be okay if someone says no.
Reid: Yeah. It’s just polite. It’s okay to get so excited that you almost lose your mind, but catch yourself. It’s the sex geek Miss Manners’ version of what you should do.
Cathy: Yes. Excellent.
Reid: How do you like people to ask if they want to see your sex toys? Leave that below.
Cathy: Or maybe even try them out with you.
Reid: Oh, yeah. Man.