So You Want To Be A Volunteer?

Regardless of if you’re buying a ticket or not, here’s how volunteering works:

1) Prospective volunteers must have attended a TID event before being eligible for volunteering (for Play Parties- must have been to a TID Play Party before).
2) Prospective volunteers who can not afford to attend a TID event can be asked to be scholarshiped to their first event to people in need.
3) For those who need continued financial assistance, after attending their first event, we request that people who need help attending volunteer (rather than asking for scholarships) whenever possible to help offset the costs of running events.

You will need to read this entire page and fill out this application to be a volunteer.

What we need in volunteers (Please see FAQ below for more details):

  • You must be reliable. Show up on time for your volunteer shift. (Usually, an hour early, and 30-45 minutes after. Some exceptions may be made with advance notice).
  • Show up. No show, no call, except in case of a true emergency, will have you removed from the volunteer list. Please give as much advanced notice as possible if you can’t attend.
  • Demonstrate an Ability to Complete Volunteer Tasks. You must be willing and able to do simple household tasks. Vacuuming, taking out the trash, washing dishes, laying out mats blankets and pillows, putting out and arranging food on the table, cleaning up small messes. We don’t expect volunteers to know how to do everything. The volunteer lead will let people know what needs to be done. If you don’t know how to run a vacuum, wash a dish, or take out the trash, for example, please consult Youtube before showing up for your volunteer shift.
  • Fulfill Duties. If you’re given a task, please complete it or let the lead volunteer know you ran into problems.
  • Be in communication. Check with the lead volunteer before going off to attend the event or hanging with your friends to make sure things are set.
  • Follow the Rules of Consent. Please follow Cuddle Party rules with the volunteers and attendees of the events.

Why would I want to Volunteer?

  • Networking: you meet other people with a common goal and get to know them better.
  • Fulfillment. It can feel good to help out with something you enjoy. And you may find yourself more engaged and involved with the event as well.
  • Sense of Belonging. Be part of the group that helps events happen!
  • Fun. We have a blast, generally, and try to keep the work light and playful.
  • Insight. See how events get set up and what goes on to make them happen.

Why can’t I volunteer at every event?
We have a limited number of volunteer spots. The facilitators’ livelihood are based on ticket sales. We choose volunteers based on reliability and competency, the ability to work well with others, and the number of spots available.

Why can’t I have a scholarship ticket to every event?
If someone is unable to volunteer or is not reliable or skilled in what we need help wise, and still would like to attend on an on-going basis, please know we have a limited number of scholarship tickets and we try to rotate who receives them.

Reasons for not being asked back as a volunteer or scholarship person:

  • No call, no show for non-emergencies.
  • Repeated last-minute cancellations. (We often cannot fill the spot and someone else misses out
  • Not meeting volunteer requirements, (see above).
  • No available spots this time around. (We will be clear if it’s an ability vs a poor fit for attending).

When asking for Volunteer or Scholarship spots, please let us know specifically which events you want to attend/help out with and whether you are asking for a Volunteer, scholarship or partial scholarship ticket to the event.
You can find events listed at
Please send an email to with Volunteer or Scholarship in the subject line, if you’re interested. It may take a few days for us to get back to you.

What to Avoid:
Repeatedly asking if there are scholarship/volunteer tickets available without checking the events page, or telling us which events you are interested in becomes annoying. Please send clear, concise emails that are easy to answer. It saves us time and energy.

The following FAQ is for volunteers of The Intimacy Dojo events.

Volunteers are required to read the FAQPlease read carefully and make sure you can meet the requirements before you offer to volunteer.

If you don’t meet the volunteer criteria, and money is an issue, there are limited scholarship and reduced-price tickets available.*

If you meet the criteria and want to volunteer, please email and specify:

  • Which event(s) you’d like to volunteer at.
  • If you have any restrictions or needs while volunteering.
  • Your gender (while we don’t gender balance, we do try to keep some kind of parity).

We will get back to you and let you know if you’re accepted as a volunteer. We have limited spots allocated for volunteers.

Volunteering FAQ

How Do I Know If Volunteering For a TID Event Is Right For Me? Do you like contributing and having a fun time? Are you willing to pitch in and do the things that help make an event run smoothly? Some of them aren’t glamorous, and they all make a difference to the experience our guests experience. It really helps if you’re good at completing tasks, and like communicating… And good about being on time!

How Do Volunteers Get Selected? We have a set number of spots for events. We try to always include a couple of experienced volunteers who can help show new volunteers the ropes. We give priority to early requestors since we like to have things lined up early. And we consider things like the relative gender composition of the event, diversity and inclusion. Please apply so you can be on the list of considered people!

What Does A Volunteer Do? A volunteer helps us get set up and greet people, clean up afterward, and does some tidying and support during the event. Volunteers take part in the events as a normal participant, but may occasionally be asked to do small errands during the event. Volunteers get free tickets to the event they are volunteering at.

What are the Volunteer Criteria?
1) Attend at least 1 previous TID event—We ask that all volunteers have attended at least one TID event before requesting to volunteer. This way you have an idea of how events flow, the layout of the event space, and aren’t trying to absorb the information and help out while desperately trying to remember where the bathroom is! All play party volunteers (does not apply for Festivals or Summits) must have an approved Play Party Application. If cost is a consideration for your first event, please ask for a scholarship ticket.

2) Arrive an Hour BEFORE the Event You’re Volunteering For—We also ask volunteers to show up one hour before the event they’re volunteering at, and plan on staying 30-45 minutes after to help clean up. If you can’t meet those, you can let us know in the email what you can do, or consider volunteering for a different event.

3) Participate in Pre- and Post-Event Volunteer Duties—You must be willing to help with tasks before & after the event. Tasks include but are not limited to: Running a vacuum, laying out blankets, cushions and pillows, putting out snacks, hanging signs and greeting and checking in guests. Volunteers also help people find restrooms and help them feel welcome. Clean up is folding and putting away blankets, cushions, and pillows, putting away snacks, taking down signs and tidying up. There is a lot of collaboration and a lot of fun!

4) Be Present For the Entire Event—You must be sober and unimpaired by drugs for the duration of the event. We keep our events unaltered so we can focus on consent. By volunteering, you agree to abide by this.

When you are in a workshop as emotional support, please change your name to Support-Name/Nickname- pronouns so people can find you quickly if they need help.

When you are in a workshop as tech support, please change your name to Tech-Name/Nickname- pronouns so people can find you quickly if they need help.

5) Abide By the Rules of the Event—Consent is very important at TID events. As a volunteer, you agree to follow the rules of whichever event you are volunteering for. If it’s a Cuddle Party, you agree to follow the rules of Cuddle Party. If you are volunteering at a Play Party, you agree to follow those rules, ect.

6) Age Appropriate Volunteering—You must be 18+ to volunteer for Cuddle Parties and 21+ for explicit events like Play Parties.

7) Fill out this application and be approved as a volunteer.

Why Volunteer? Having volunteers lets us keep TID ticket prices more affordable by lowering our operating costs, and allows people who either enjoy contributing and/or might have trouble affording events, a powerful way to participate. You get to make a difference AND connect with amazing people!

Can Volunteers Participate In Events? Yes! We encourage you to! Most of the work of volunteering is done before and after the event. During an event, we might ask you to help with small tasks, like getting a glass of water for a facilitator who’s teaching, cleaning up a spill, or grabbing pillows from the next room. We want you to enjoy the event and get the most out of it, too. And, working together as a team, we can!

Is It A Lot of Work? We plan to have enough volunteers on hand so it isn’t tons of work for any one person. There are tasks like running a vacuum, laying out blankets, cushions and pillows, putting out snacks, hanging signs and greeting and checking in guests. Volunteers also help people find restrooms and help folks feel welcome. Clean up consists of folding and putting away blankets, cushions and pillows, putting away snacks, taking down signs and tidying up. Volunteers have a lot of fun! There is generally lots of laughter, cooperation, networking, and big smiles.

I’m Trans, Bi, Older, Bigger, Etc., Can I Volunteer? Yes! We see you. We appreciate you. And we welcome you.

I’m Handicapped, Can I Volunteer? If we can accommodate your needs, we’re glad to have you help. The main venue space has 3 steps going up to the door. Please contact to discuss what your needs are.

Why do you use pronouns after your name? For instance Cathy (she/her)? We use pronouns after our names to 1) acknowledge that not everyone has the gender we might assume they do… And that there are more than two genders, and 2) to demonstrate a willingness to address people by the pronouns that they choose. Assuming someone has to look a certain way to belong to a given gender can be harmful and hurtful. You can learn more at this wonderful site:

I’m Coming From Out of Town. Can Out of Town Volunteers Stay At the Venue Overnight? No. The venue is a private home and the facilitators are the only people who stay overnight there. There are a number of Airbnb’s and a couple of hotels nearby. The exact address of the San Jose, CA, venue will be given once you’re accepted as a volunteer. The hotels linked here are a 10-minute walk to the venue.

What About Food? There are snacks at most TID events. If you’re volunteering for several back-to-back events, we encourage you to bring your lunch/dinner. There is some space in the refrigerator, and there is a microwave and oven at the venue.

What If I Have To Cancel a Volunteer Shift? We do understand that life happens. And we rely on our volunteers to help events run smoothly and create a great experience for our guests. Please let us know as soon as possible if you can’t support an event. The more lead-time the better!

What If I Have To Cancel Last Minute? Please let us know as soon as you can. Be in communication, and don’t be embarrassed. It’s when you don’t let us know that it impacts us the most. Plus, we end up worrying about you! People who don’t show up, and don’t contact us won’t be considered for another volunteer spot for at least 6-months.

What If You Ask Me To Do Something I Don’t Want To Do? Cuddle Party Rules Apply… You are at choice with what you’d like to assist with and free to opt out of any task at any time, just let us know so we can re-assign it to another volunteer. If you discover that you’re unwilling to do any of the normal volunteer activities, we reserve the option to not have you volunteer again. No hard feelings. The tasks that need gettin’ done should go to people who are a yes to doin’ ’em. 🙂

Can I participate with the Guests? Yes! And Cuddle Party Rules Apply. Please do not use your position as a volunteer to try to influence people to play or engage with you. Be conscious of the implied status of being a volunteer and be conscious of people’s boundaries and how positions of authority can complicate consent dynamics.

Do I Have To Participate with Guests? No! Cuddle Party Rules Apply… Same with play parties, too! During events, you get to opt in or out of participating in any activity and don’t ever have to do anything with anyone. Volunteers, just like attendees, are encouraged to change their minds.

What If Someone Makes Me Uncomfortable or My Consent Is Violated? Please tell one of the facilitators right away. It doesn’t matter if the person is a guest, volunteer, co-facilitator or host. We want to know! If you don’t feel comfortable telling anyone directly, you can email or you can use our anonymous reporting system to inform us:

What About Parking? Where Do Volunteers Park? There is ample parking on the streets at the venue. You may want to give yourself a few minutes for parking in case you have to park around the block. You can find the answers to many of these type of questions at TID’s Event FAQ.

I Have Allergies, Can I Volunteer? I have a small cat. Generally, people are fine, since I have hardwood floors and leather furniture, and we vacuum before and after events. And, we encourage you to bring appropriate medication with you and to take care of yourself healthwise, just in case.

Can I Hang Out After The Event? Yes and No. After cleanup is done, we sometimes chat for 10-15 minutes, but then we’ll tell you we appreciate you and kick you lovingly to the curb. 🙂 We ask volunteers to understand that the facilitators may be tired, and, for them, the event isn’t really over until everyone has left, volunteers included. We appreciate your hard work and generous contributions as volunteers, and we will be quick to say goodnight and send you on your way soon after the place is tidy.

* For Scholarship and Reduced-Price Tickets: Please only request if the cost is a hardship to you. We have a limited number of tickets.

If you would like a scholarship ticket, please email and specify what event you’d like a ticket to, and please say if you need a scholarship or if you can do a reduced price ticket. If you are asking about a reduced price ticket, please let us know what you propose to pay.

The earlier you request this, generally the better your chances of tickets being available.