The following FAQ is for volunteers of The Intimacy Dojo events.

Volunteers are required to read the FAQPlease read carefully and make sure you can meet the requirements before you offer to volunteer.

If you don’t meet the volunteer criteria, and money is an issue, there are limited scholarship and reduced-price tickets available.*

If you meet the criteria and want to volunteer, please email and specify:

  • Which event(s) you’d like to volunteer at.
  • If you have any restrictions or needs while volunteering.
  • Your gender (while we don’t gender balance, we do try to keep some kind of parity).

We will get back to you and let you know if you’re accepted as a volunteer. We have limited spots allocated for volunteers.


How Do I Know If Volunteering For a TID Event Is Right For Me? Do you like contributing and having a fun time? Are you willing to pitch in and do the things that help make an event run smoothly? Some of them aren’t glamorous, and they all make a difference to the experience our guests experience. It really helps if you’re good at completing tasks, and like communicating… And good about being on time!

How Do Volunteers Get Selected? We have a set number of spots for events. We try to always include a couple of experienced volunteers who can help show new volunteers the ropes. We give priority to early requestors since we like to have things lined up early. And we consider things like the relative gender composition of the event, diversity and inclusion.

What Does A Volunteer Do? A volunteer helps us get set up and greet people, clean up afterward, and does some tidying and support during the event. Volunteers take part in the events as a normal participant, but may occasionally be asked to do small errands during the event. Volunteers get free tickets to the event they are volunteering at.

What are the Volunteer Criteria?
1) Attend at least 1 previous TID event—We ask that all volunteers have attended at least one TID event before requesting to volunteer. This way you have an idea of how events flow, the layout of the event space, and aren’t trying to absorb the information and help out while desperately trying to remember where the bathroom is! All play party volunteers must have an approved Play Party Application. If cost is a consideration for your first event, please ask for a scholarship ticket.

2) Arrive an Hour BEFORE the Event You’re Volunteering For—We also ask volunteers to show up one hour before the event they’re volunteering at, and plan on staying 30-45 minutes after to help clean up. If you can’t meet those, you can let us know in the email what you can do, or consider volunteering for a different event.

3) Participate in Pre- and Post-Event Volunteer Duties—You must be willing to help with tasks before & after the event. Tasks include but are not limited to: Running a vacuum, laying out blankets, cushions and pillows, putting out snacks, hanging signs and greeting and checking in guests. Volunteers also help people find restrooms and help them feel welcome. Clean up is folding and putting away blankets, cushions, and pillows, putting away snacks, taking down signs and tidying up. There is a lot of collaboration and a lot of fun!

4) Be Present For the Entire Event—You must be sober and unimpaired by drugs for the duration of the event. We keep our events unaltered so we can focus on consent. By volunteering, you agree to abide by this.

5) Abide By the Rules of the Event—Consent is very important at TID events. As a volunteer, you agree to follow the rules of whichever event you are volunteering for. If it’s a Cuddle Party, you agree to follow the rules of Cuddle Party. If you are volunteering at a Play Party, you agree to follow those rules, ect.

6) Age Appropriate Volunteering—You must be 18+ to volunteer for Cuddle Parties and 21+ for explicit events like Play Parties.

Why Volunteer? Having volunteers lets us keep TID ticket prices more affordable by lowering our operating costs, and allows people who either enjoy contributing and/or might have trouble affording events, a powerful way to participate. You get to make a difference AND connect with amazing people!

Can Volunteers Participate In Events? Yes! We encourage you to! Most of the work of volunteering is done before and after the event. During an event, we might ask you to help with small tasks, like getting a glass of water for a facilitator who’s teaching, cleaning up a spill, or grabbing pillows from the next room. We want you to enjoy the event and get the most out of it, too. And, working together as a team, we can!

Is It A Lot of Work? We plan to have enough volunteers on hand so it isn’t tons of work for any one person. There are tasks like running a vacuum, laying out blankets, cushions and pillows, putting out snacks, hanging signs and greeting and checking in guests. Volunteers also help people find restrooms and help folks feel welcome. Clean up consists of folding and putting away blankets, cushions and pillows, putting away snacks, taking down signs and tidying up. Volunteers have a lot of fun! There is generally lots of laughter, cooperation, networking, and big smiles.

I’m Trans, Bi, Older, Bigger, Etc., Can I Volunteer? Yes! We see you. We appreciate you. And we welcome you.

I’m Handicapped, Can I Volunteer? If we can accommodate your needs, we’re glad to have you help. The main venue space has 3 steps going up to the door. Please contact to discuss what your needs are.

I’m Coming From Out of Town. Can Out of Town Volunteers Stay At the Venue Overnight? No. The venue is a private home and the facilitators are the only people who stay overnight there. There are a number of Airbnb’s and a couple of hotels nearby. The exact address of the San Jose, CA, venue will be given once you’re accepted as a volunteer. The hotels linked here are a 10-minute walk to the venue.

What About Food? There are snacks at most TID events. If you’re volunteering for several back-to-back events, we encourage you to bring your lunch/dinner. There is some space in the refrigerator, and there is a microwave and oven at the venue.

What If I Have To Cancel a Volunteer Shift? We do understand that life happens. And we rely on our volunteers to help events run smoothly and create a great experience for our guests. Please let us know as soon as possible if you can’t support an event. The more lead-time the better!

What If I Have To Cancel Last Minute? Please let us know as soon as you can. Be in communication, and don’t be embarrassed. It’s when you don’t let us know that it impacts us the most. Plus, we end up worrying about you! People who don’t show up, and don’t contact us won’t be considered for another volunteer spot for at least 6-months.

What If You Ask Me To Do Something I Don’t Want To Do? Cuddle Party Rules Apply… You are at choice with what you’d like to assist with and free to opt out of any task at any time, just let us know so we can re-assign it to another volunteer. If you discover that you’re unwilling to do any of the normal volunteer activities, we reserve the option to not have you volunteer again. No hard feelings. The tasks that need gettin’ done should go to people who are a yes to doin’ ’em. 🙂

Do I Have To Participate with Guests? No! Cuddle Party Rules Apply… Same with play parties, too! During events, you get to opt in or out of participating in any activity and don’t ever have to do anything with anyone. Volunteers, just like attendees, are encouraged to change their minds.

What If Someone Makes Me Uncomfortable or My Consent Is Violated? Please tell one of the facilitators right away. It doesn’t matter if the person is a guest, volunteer, co-facilitator or host. We want to know! If you don’t feel comfortable telling anyone directly, you can email or you can use our anonymous reporting system to inform us:

What About Parking? Where Do Volunteers Park? There is ample parking on the streets at the venue. You may want to give yourself a few minutes for parking in case you have to park around the block. You can find the answers to many of these type of questions at TID’s Event FAQ.

I Have Allergies, Can I Volunteer? I have a small cat. Generally, people are fine, since I have hardwood floors and leather furniture, and we vacuum before and after events. And, we encourage you to bring appropriate medication with you and to take care of yourself healthwise, just in case.

Can I Hang Out After The Event? Yes and No. After cleanup is done, we sometimes chat for 10-15 minutes, but then we’ll tell you we appreciate you and kick you lovingly to the curb. 🙂 We ask volunteers to understand that the facilitators may be tired, and, for them, the event isn’t really over until everyone has left, volunteers included. We appreciate your hard work and generous contributions as volunteers, and we will be quick to say goodnight and send you on your way soon after the place is tidy.

* For Scholarship and Reduced-Price Tickets: Please only request if the cost is a hardship to you. We have a limited number of tickets.

If you would like a scholarship ticket, please email and specify what event you’d like a ticket to, and please say if you need a scholarship or if you can do a reduced price ticket. If you are asking about a reduced price ticket, please let us know what you propose to pay.

The earlier you request this, generally the better your chances of tickets being available.