Should We Teach Sex Toys To Kids?

Jen: Hey! It’s J.D or Jen Devine from and also I’m here with

Cathy: Cathy Vartuli from

Jen: Sweet. Cathy’s been asking me some great questions and I always like I have a question as a sex educator in the public schools and there’s the state law gives me some guidelines and in in California there are really great guidelines. So that I get to teach like accurate, inclusive, shame free, pleasure positive like info that’s what I’m required to do by law. Its super cool and I have yet to see or hear of anyone formally including sex toys in any curriculum.

Cathy: Oh wow.

Jen: And I find this interesting because I know that statistically adults use sex toys sometimes more than they use condoms and barriers. So it seems like there’s something missing.

Cathy: Yeah.

Jen: I’m wondering what you think about that?

Cathy: That’s a great question. I think that it might be problematic because a lot of parents like some parents may not be comfortable with that and having their kids know more than them might feel or having their

Jen: Yeah.

Cathy: kids exposed to that might be challenging. I know that I work with a lot of people that are shy….shyer or haven’t been as sexually active and some of… they’ve never had a sex toy before and they might be in their 50s or 60s or 70s and so I think there’s a challenge with that in the public system but I do think it’s a wonderful thing to expose people to like you

Jen: Yeah.

Cathy: wouldn’t have a woodshop class where you taught people about how to carve things by hand or with your teeth you would actually like include the….the things that

Jen: All the tools available.

Cathy: Yeah. All the tools

Jen: And something

Cathy: and even if you didn’t have them there to for them to use you

Jen: Yeah.

Cathy: might tell them about them.

Jen: Right. I mean and I know there are laws that also try to protect children from over sexualized information and right all these things are only available for people over the age of 18 and I think about people’s ability to learn about how their own bodies work and what could be useful and so I wonder it’s….it’s…’s an unanswered question for me because I do wonder about teenagers and people becoming sexually active and also about safer sex and what the options are for safer sex for people which of course might include masturbatory behavior

Cathy: Yeah.

Jen: and getting to know one’s own body and sometimes there are tools that can be helpful for people to learn and discover how they work.

Cathy: I think

Jen: So

Cathy: Yeah.

Jen: it’s….it’s one of those questions that I’ve always had that I’m

Cathy I think it could be really useful

Jen: Yeah.

Cathy: because teenagers are very sexual normally and I know I masturbated with things I found around the house because I like it felt good but some of those things like

Jen: Quite not be designed.

Cathy: couldn’t have got….yeah, they weren’t necessarily like I couldn’t sanitize them.

Jen: Right.

Cathy: I didn’t know I like I didn’t know what I needed to do with them. Some of them might had parts that could have broken off inside

Jen: Right.

Cathy: and I would have had….thank God nothing like that happened and I’d have to go “hey, mom and dad. I need to go to the hospital” but

Jen: That’s a whole another

Cathy: Yeah.

Jen: video. The amazing x-rays I saw when I worked at a hospital.

Cathy: Wow, yes for sure. But I think that just talking about people like talking to people of normalizing to children that yes it can feel good to put things in your inside yourself and here’s some things you should or should not do

Jen: Right.

Cathy: to make it

Jen: or things that vibrate or things that a person can put their body parts in. Yeah but it…I mean I think there’s a whole lot of education that can happen around that. Now if we jump ahead and we’re like educating for adults around that even the adults need super information about how to clean those things and take care of them as well but yeah. It’s just an unanswered question about the lack of access to things that can help teens understand their bodies better.

Cathy: Well and if they have the access to sex toys I know that people…..there’s a big thing push for abstinence only which I know doesn’t work. But

Jen: Yeah, we know that statistically.

Cathy: if we if we helped teenagers get sex toys so they could please their bodies their own bodies and meet some of the sexual needs and maybe please each other, maybe that would delay pregnancies and other things like if there’s other

Jen: Right.

Cathy: if we gave them more options

Jen: Yeah.

Cathy: that might actually help them in the long run.

Jen: Yeah, I mean as a sex positive educator, I would hope for our world where that could happen but I also know that there’d be a lot of people like you said initially that parents would be super uncomfortable with that notion that their child is even a sexual being. I think that’s part of the discomfort around

Cathy: Yeah.

Jen: sex and sexuality for parents and children at any time. So yeah.

Cathy: That’s a great question. Thanks very much for asking.

Jen: Yeah.

Cathy: What do you think, should kids know about sex toys? Should we teach them?

Jen: Yeah, great question.