Here are a few of the more common Virtual Event Questions. You can also refer to our Event FAQ that covers questions that apply to live and virtual events.

Zoom Help Below

Further information can be found:
Upcoming Events:
Event FAQ:
No Harassment Policy:


What happens if I lose Internet Connection or Electricity during the event? This does happen. Unfortunately, we have no control over local or larger scale outages. (Just like we don’t have control over traffic or car issues for live events).

For our events that require attendance from the beginning: If you were in attendance in the beginning, our generous volunteers would have checked you off the list. If you go back to the waiting room, they will let you back in.

If you weren’t able to attend from the beginning, for these events, we won’t be able to let you in once we start the rules. You can email (only monitored 15 minutes before an event and during events) to find out if they can let you back in or not.

For events with no “closed-door” policy, just join at any time.

Generally “Parties” have closed-door policies so we can make sure everyone is on the same page.

If the event does not happen, or a significant portion is down due to internet or electrical issues, the event will be rescheduled. (Please note that one facilitator may have issues and others can cover, with no rescheduling).

What Are the Risks Around Privacy at these Events?
We have everyone agree that these events are private and that there will be no screenshots or audio or video recording of these events. We expect everyone to comply with these agreements and will follow up if we find anyone has violated them. Consequences may include being banned from all TheIntimacyDojo and associated events, and/or legal action.

We recommend you protect your privacy. Just like safer dating or safer sex practices, please judge your own tolerance for risk of people knowing about your attendance and participation.

  • You are welcome to use a nickname if you like.
  • At this time we do not require video.
  • You can use a virtual background in Zoom if that helps you feel safer and protects some of your privacy.
  • At parties you may wear a mask if you like, unless we find that this causes problems. (Martigras style, not scary halloween).
  • Please only share personal information as you feel comfortable. You never need to share with other attendees ever.

Workshops and teaching events are often recorded for resale or distribution after the event. Breakout rooms are not recorded. Parties are generally not recorded. We will let you know if we are recording a Party.

What if someone is inappropriate during an event?
While this doesn’t happen often, we want you to know what to do… Kind of like knowing where the brakes are on a car!

If someone is sharing (or showing you) something that feels uncomfortable, we encourage you to:
1) If you can, tell them “no.” If you can share specifically what bothers you- blackbelt move- it helps you reclaim your voice and may help them course-correct.
2) You are encouraged to reach out for help. You can:
– Private message Staff and/or facilitators within Zoom
– email
(This is only monitored 15 minutes before an event starts to the end of the event)
3) If you’re in a breakout room, feel free to leave the room and come back to the main room.
4) If you can screenshot the person’s name, that can help us follow up as well.
5) If you feel you need to leave the event – please let us know what’s going on so we can follow up. We are very dedicated to consent and creating a safe space. Your feedback is invaluable. You can email or you can also leave anonymous feedback at:

Please see our No Harassment Policy.

Do I have to use my real name?
No. You are welcome to use a nickname, just your first name, or your full name- whatever feels comfortable to you.

Why do you use pronouns after your name? For instance Cathy (she/her)? We use pronouns after our names to 1) acknowledge that not everyone has the gender we might assume they do… And that there are more than two genders, and 2) to demonstrate a willingness to address people by the pronouns that they choose. Assuming someone has to look a certain way to belong to a given gender can be harmful and hurtful. You can learn more at this wonderful site:

Do I have to use Video?
No. While some people find it enhances their experience, other’s prefer not to share their faces. You are welcome to turn off your video, or call in using one of the phone numbers listed in the invite.

What about using Private Chats? Our policy is that private chats are allowed and please ask the person you want to private chat with if they are open to private chats before talking further with them. That can look like: “Are you open to me private chatting with you during this talk?”

Please take silence or unclear answers as a no. Take no as a no.

Do I have to Private Chat with anyone?  No. We ask people to first ask if they can chat with you during a talk. No is a perfectly good answer. You can also say, “I want to focus on this talk, no thank you.” They are told that if you don’t answer, they should take that as a no. If you have questions or concerns, or if someone is chatting you when you don’t want them to, or has gotten inappropriate, please let the volunteers or organizers know immediately. We are glad to support you!

What is your nudity policy? Do I have to wear clothing during events? Generally, yes. Unless otherwise stated, you must have bikini areas covered. At certain pre-arranged events, the facilitator will let people know when and where they may be naked.

Are there subtitles or captioning for the talks? No, as of August 2020 we have evaluated the capabilities available and have determined that machine transcription has too many errors to be useful and the cost of hiring people to do captioning or subtitles is more than the events can afford. We continue to evaluate and monitor changes and will update again in the future.

Why do a virtual party when we can’t touch each other?
Great question! Cuddle Parties and other events that are normally in person and touch-based are so much fun when we’re face-to-face in real life. AND no one ever needs to touch anyone at our events, ever. Everything is at consent.

Getting our social and connection needs met during Social Distancing is important, and we can do that at these events.

Some people have energetic connections that are really special- join one of our Energetic classes or events for more on that!

Finally, our brains and bodies can get some of our touch needs met by being connected with other people and mirroring touch. We’ll teach you in these events!

How the event will go?
We sometimes start with a warmup of some kind, often something movement-based. This is always at choice… You can participate or not as you like.
Then we introduce ourselves and do a welcome circle with icebreaking exercises and a clear description of the rules.
After that, there is often free time or more exercises to help you engage and meet each other.
We end with a closing circle.

With all our events, consent and choice is key. You never have to do the exercises we share, and you can leave at any time. We just require that you follow the rules of consent while at the event.

What if I feel Awkward or Shy about attending?
Yeah! You’re in the right place.
Many people feel shy or awkward doing new things. We welcome you here. We’ll walk you through ice-breaking exercises and different games so you can start feeling more relaxed with the wonderful, caring (and often awkward feeling) folks at our events!
Please note, that people don’t start feeling less awkward by avoiding new things… They start feeling more comfortable by trying things that make them feel awkward.

Zoom Basics

Please make sure you have the most recent version of Zoom on your device. A large number of issues come from having outdated versions. If you are in Zoom on your computer you will see in the upper right corner of the top toolbar. The 5th line down says “Check for Updates…” Click that to see if you have the latest version.

Screenshot of menu showing Check for Updates and other options.

The most important thing is to know how to access your zoom menu.
Depending on whether you are zooming from your phone, tablet or laptop, it might be a bit different.
1) Tap your zoom screen or hover your mouse over the screen
2) The zoom menu should pop up
3) The key menu items are: mute button, video button, participant button and chat box option.
We’ll go over each one briefly.

It’s important to mute yourself during the workshop section so that there is no background noise.
a) Tap or hover over your mouse over your screen to see the zoom menu
b) Look for the microphone icon. If it has a diagonal line on it & it says “unmute”, your mic is off. Good!
c) If you are invited to speak at some point, you can click it to unmute yourself.
d) Please check that you are muted if you hear background noises during this session.

You can decide what name you’re comfortable using.
a) Go to your zoom menu
b) Click on the “Participants” icon and find your current zoom name
d) Click or hover over your name. Choose the rename option.
e) Type the name you wish to use on this recording and your preferred pronouns if you want.
f)  Click ok to save…


If you would like to not have people see your face, you can turn your own video off.
a) Go to your zoom menu
b) Look for the video camera icon – it’s next to the microphone icon
c) If the video icon has a diagonal line across it and it says “start video”, your video is off.
d) If you would like to be visible in the breakout groups, you can turn on your video icon.

During the Party, please share your questions or comments using the chat box option.
a) Go to your zoom menu
b) Click on the chat box option (looks like a dialogue bubble from a cartoon strip)
c) On some phones, you might have to click on the Participant icon and then click the chat box option
d) You can type a msg to everyone or send a private msg to someone specific on the dropdown menu
e) Before you type a message, check that it’s set for the right person!
e.g. If you are writing a private message, you don’t want to accidentally send it to everyone.


When we do breakout rooms, you will be invited to join a group. A small screen will pop up. You are at choice on whether you join the breakout rooms or not. You can stay in the main room during the exercise or mute your audio and video and take a bio break, as you like.

If you want to leave the breakout room early (before the exercise is over and you are transported back to the main room), you can go to your Zoom Menu and click on Return To Main Room.

Note: if you are using your phone or tablet
You may have to switch back and forth between video and chatbox but you should still hear the speaker either way.