We get questions and concerns from people about ticket costs and how the money is distributed for our events.
Many thanks to all of you who reached out with such great questions! You inspired us to gather them in one place so others could benefit from your generosity. Thank you for contributing to this FAQ.
If, after reading this FAQ, you have thoughts, concerns, or upgrades you’d like to share, please feel free to reach out. We are continually learning and growing. These answers come after considerable research and thought, as well as discussions with savvy people, including those from marginalized groups. And we are always looking for better ways to serve others, be more accessible, increase our diversity, and make a living. You can email me at: Cathy@TheIntimacyDojo.com
I deeply appreciate your concerns and commitment that everyone has access to transformational platforms. Thank you for what you add to the world.
Please note, that most of what I teach is available for free on Youtube and my blog. Here are some links:
–ThrivingNow.com (sister site with Rick Wilkes).
My most common collaborators are also generous and share free content:
EverydayTantra.com
ReidAboutSex.com
On those sites are 100’s of hours of videos, articles, and audios to help people who struggle with trauma, financial and abundance blocks, fears around intimacy, intimacy skills, and overall wellbeing. Search for your topic of interest and you’ll likely find many resources. We are continually adding to these sites in the hopes that we can serve those who are reaching out and making their lives better.
You will find my policies and approaches below. While I sometimes appear in other’s events that do not follow similar policies or share my specific values, my hopes are that, as others see my policies and approaches working successfully, they may adopt more just and accessible models. This way, we foster a world where access to information is not hidden behind a paywall.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do you charge (so much) for things? Why isn’t this free?
Great question. First, what is the value of life-changing experiences and information? If the events and programs being offered can help someone break free of life-long blocks and fears, giving them access to new energy, new pleasure, and new opportunities… How does anyone put a price tag on something like that?
Some might say such information and experience counts as priceless.
Since there is no way to charge for the amount of transformation offered and still have it be accessible, we choose pricing that allows us to offer courses and events without burning out and becoming passive-aggressive or resentful, and that covers the cost of our business and living expenses. Too many educators sacrifice their wellbeing and livelihood to try to serve others to the point they crash and burn and leave the personal development field. If we want to be a sustainable business that pays the bills and rejuvenates us so we can do this long term.
We always strive to over-deliver in our events and programs, and we put our heart, soul, and intense focus and care into each one.
Second, many people are unaware of the labor, focus, and energy that goes into creating an offering.
1) For many events, there are 100’s of hours of labor behind the scenes.
- Writing the sales pages, emails, and social media to promote the event.
- Planning and organizing the schedule, and other teachers.
- Developing slides, handouts, and other resources to help people learn.
- Marketing the event and answering questions.
- Time running the actual classes/events
- Editing videos and audios and posting them.
2) There are decades of experience and education to reach the point of having solid information to offer. Most of us have paid for (I know I have):
- Certifications and training to understand and develop the skills to offer the training.
- Trainings and programs to learn how to run events and programs, and keeping up with best practices and latest technology and advancements.
- Programs and advice on marketing and copywriting.
- 100’s-1000’s of hours in testing, practicing, evaluating and developing these skills
3) There are risks involved in offering programs.
Offering a program or running events could result in a loss of time, energy, and money. Bringing an offering to the public has a number of outlays before anyone buys a ticket.
- Non-refundable deposits for venues
- Downpayments for food/catering
- Event insurance
- Monthly and annual fees for digital platforms
- Website costs and Webpage building
- Organizing Volunteers and Speakers
- Business Expenses (wifi, computer, video equipment, office, utilities)
- Declaring something and putting the business’ credibility on the line.
- Not to mention paying the many individuals who help you with these tasks (often out of pocket since your ticket sales haven’t started yet).
These risks have real consequences for event organizers and program creators. We have living expenses, too. And if the event fails or isn’t very successful, it may be challenging or impossible to meet professional and personal expenses. We have no guarantee of a program or event being successful or even covering our costs.
We use money charged for tickets as an exchange for our labor, financial investment, and costs, and to compensate for the risks inherent in any offering. The charged price covers the cost of free offerings, scholarships, the cost of running the event including paying other facilitators, food and venue, and hopefully enough profit to allow us to offer more programs/events going forward.
In order to make our events more accessible, we offer:
Tiered Pricing on many events: This allows marginalized communities and those with financial challenges to pay less, and those who feel able to contribute more.
Volunteer Scholarships: Where volunteer labor can assist in an event going more smoothly and/or enhance the attendees’ experience, we often offer ticket/admission in exchange for support during, before, or after the event.
Non-volunteer Scholarships: Depending on the event and the amount of individual focus required, we offer scholarships, with emphasis on marginalized communities.
Discount Tickets: We often offer discounted tickets to those who can’t afford the lower-priced tickets. The number offered varies based on the individual focus needed for the event, and for in-person events the venue size, which affect the number of tickets available.
Do you think facilitators should be paid for their time?
Yes! We do think teachers, facilitators, and advisors should be paid for their time and energy. We believe people should get paid for their work and expertise. Asking people to work for free is problematic. They need to pay their bills too.
We appreciate your concerns that our speakers get compensated! They are amazing, talented humans offering priceless information and experiences.
Here is our speaker compensation policy for our events and programs:
- Our policy is to have an agreement that is consistent for equal labor and time. That agreement is in writing, and is in place, and agreed upon before the labor is done.
- No one is ever pressured to be part of our events, and “no’s” are as honored and welcomed as “yeses” — We encourage everyone to honor their own needs and boundaries, and to take care of themselves.
- We do understand that FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is a real thing, and we do our best to offer a diverse range of ways people can engage with us as speakers.
There are plusses and minuses for each form of payment:
- We either offer a set amount for a defined amount of work or a percentage of profits distributed over the number of teaching spots.
- With the set amount, speakers avoid all risks and we commit to paying them as long as they perform the teaching agreed. Even if the event loses money, they get paid. That money would come out of our living expenses if the event doesn’t break even.
- With percentage of profit, the teachers have the opportunity to make more if the event is more successful, and they are not guaranteed any minimum payment.
We also offer Facilitators:
- Free ticket to the event as a whole.
- Showcasing their bio and link to offerings.
- Often a 20% affiliate link, where they can make 20% of the sales price of any tickets purchased via their link.
- We endeavor to make things very smooth and easy, so all they have to do is show up and teach.
- For in-person events, we sometimes can compensate for some or all travel expenses, and possibly arrange for a place to stay. Unless otherwise agreed, food costs during the event for facilitators are covered by the organizers.
Please understand that the amount teachers are paid is limited by the number of scholarships offered. We try to find a balance that works for the community that the program/event is being offered to.
We understand that many people have invested significant amounts of time and labor into building a career and fostering a following. They want to be compensated for the value and attention they bring to the event via their social media, email list, and platform. Hence the 20% affiliate fee for each ticket sold.
We also understand that many marginalized educators have not had access to the training needed to build a strong following. Similarly, educators at the beginning of their careers have not had the time to amass a following. Thus, we offer payment per speaking slot. We intend this to balance the different needs.
We also invite speakers who want to grow their lists and are financially challenged to check out the 100+ free videos that are apart of TheIntimacyDojo’s “Heart-Centered Business Advice” playlist on Youtube.
You are also encouraged to ask about scholarship and discount tickets at existing or upcoming business marketing training.
There may be times we choose to run an event where teachers are not paid.
If there is no money to compensate educators for their speaking, does that mean an event shouldn’t happen? Our answer is, it depends. Some events are intentionally designed to be offered for free or tickets are priced to cover costs only.
- Potential speakers are told upfront that there is no compensation other than free admission to the conference.
- Speakers are at choice whether they join us or not. Low-pressure invitations and gracious acceptance of declines with no repercussions is our commitment and policy.
- In some instances, we deem an event, community, or topic important enough that it should happen even if teachers cannot be paid. We feel that if teachers are informed before they apply to be speakers, they can make informed choices, and the event will have integrity.
- Some events don’t make us money, and in fact, have a large financial risk for us to run.
What about your refund policies?
Our longer, more comprehensive refund policy can be found HERE.
- For self-paced programs and some events, we offer 30-day refunds.
- For many live events, we offer refunds up to 7 days before the event.
- For certain live events, refunds are available up to 30 days before the event.
- The refund policy for each particular event or program is always included with all Eventbrite tickets and on sales pages.
For 30-day refunds on self-paced programs, we offer a satisfaction guarantee.
- You have 30 days to evaluate the program and see if it is right for you.
- If you discover that it is not the right fit, just ask for a refund within 30-days of your purchase and we will be happy to accommodate you.
- If you choose not to test-drive the program during that time, that’s your choice.
- If you faced extenuating circumstances, you are welcome to reach out so we can discuss what’s possible!
For live events, we offer refunds up to 7 or 30 days before the event.
- There are fixed costs associated with running live events.
- To ensure covering operating costs (and provide attendees with an optimal learning experience), we often need a minimum number of participants to feel good about running an event. Our 7 and 30-day refund policies for live events are designed to give us enough notice that, should we not meet our minimum number of participants, we can cancel or reschedule our event with adequate time to inform speakers, volunteers, and attendees with integrity.
- For some live events, we also offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee, which stipulates if an attendee, after having attended the entire event, feels that they have learned nothing, they inform the organizer(s) that they have learned nothing and are entitled to a full refund on the price of their ticket. This guarantee, when offered, will be specified in the event guarantee in addition to whatever refund policy is being offered.
What if I don’t show?
- We do not offer refunds for no-shows.
- We don’t have control over your car, traffic, babysitter availability, the weather, or other issues that can come up.
- It is your responsibility to show up for the event.
- In some cases, the events are recorded so you can get the information afterward. Parties are not recorded.
- If there was a genuine emergency, you are welcome to reach out and we can see what we can do!
Why aren’t there more scholarships?
We try not to turn anyone away for lack of funds, and we have to divide our attention and focus across the attendees, our teachers, and volunteers, and meet our costs and income needs. We may also have limited seats for some events.
Depending on how much individual attention is needed to achieve the promised outcome for the event and the number of seats available, we adjust the number of scholarships and discounted tickets accordingly.
For Summits, we have been shooting for 20% scholarship (volunteer and non-volunteer) and 20% discounted tickets.
It is easy for us to be an enthusiastic yes to these percentages.
For higher-touch point offerings that require more individual support, we base scholarship numbers on the ticket price and cost of running the event (for instance, we might price tickets lower and offer fewer scholarships, or when offering tiered pricing if few people are choosing the mid or higher-priced tickets, we may reduce scholarship ticket numbers).
Do you pay your volunteers?
No. Volunteers get their admission ticket for free or discounts towards tickets (for the more expensive ones) for the events they help with.
Lead volunteers (who do significantly more work) might get a guest ticket to share.
Some volunteers have purchased tickets and volunteered their time in service of there being more funds to help make the event happen.
We always try to have enough volunteers so the workload isn’t too taxing. Many hands make for light work. Thus, no one person is asked to do too much.
We try to make work-time fun, engaging, and rewarding.
When people contribute they often feel like they belong, and acts of service toward things we believe in can make us feel good. We like making such opportunities available to others.
No one is required to volunteer. We do have some non-volunteer scholarships available as well.
Example of Costs of running Event.
Cuddle Party is an event we often get questions about — Why are we charging people to cuddle? is a common one.
Cuddle Party is not just throwing a bunch of blankets on the floor and opening up your door to strangers.
Think of the last time you threw a bbq… You had to spend time:
– inviting people on a date that worked for a bunch of folks,
– shopping,
– prepping,
– answer all their questions,
– have them want to bring people,
– cancellations last min,
– gluten-free, vegan, someone’s birthday,
– cleaning the house before,
– cleaning grill,
– helping people who were lost or forgot the time,
– having them over and cooking,
– helping them find the bathroom, their coats, their missing dishes, the kitchen, silverware, room in the fridge,
– sending them home,
– cleaning up afterward.
– aftercare for emotional upsets (She knew I was bringing that dish! How come he didn’t speak to me all evening?)
When we run a Cuddle Party, we are doing those same things (except generally NOT cleaning the grill)… and the setup is more work for a Cuddle Party!
The training for a Cuddle Party is $1600 plus 100’s of hours of classes, practice events, and organization.
Facilitators are generally paying for a website, Eventbrite, Meetup, event insurance.
Facilitators have organized a few or many volunteers and possibly paid for the venue.
Investing in, storing, and transporting a stockpile of blankets, pillows, mats, etc. to make the Cuddle Party space comfortable.
Offered some scholarship tickets.
And we don’t often know how many people will show up or if our costs will be covered!
We charge because we are exchanging the value of our energy, training, time, and focus for income that lets us care for ourselves, our families, and to offset other activities so we have the time to create a space for you to grow and learn and practice in. We believe in the loving exchange of value.