Can You Have An Open Relationship If You Are Married?
Cathy: And Dan Powers from http://www.beyondthebedroomevents.com/
Cathy: Can you have an open relationship if you’re married?
Cathy: This is Dan Powers from http://www.beyondthebedroom.com/
Dan: This is Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com/
Cathy: yeah I love that people ask these questions because some people don’t know. It’s like wait I heard you’re suppose to…
Dan: marriage is only one person
Cathy: Yeah “till death do you part”. No you can’t do that
Dan: know the Bible actually says that.
Cathy: the Bible says a lot of different things.
Dan: yeah a lot of conflicting things.
Dan: we won’t get into that.
Cathy: I think that marriage and any relationship can be what you decide to create with your partner. And I think the biggest thing is to be open and consensual. Like talk about it make sure you both agree/ and sometimes the person that’s most scared you get to lose at their pace. But you know it’s also about meeting both of your needs. Why are you in a relationship to begin? That’s… why is it important to be in this relationship? And then how can this relationship serve both of your needs?
Dan: Yeah and the number one thing. Think is that if you want to open up your relationship your relationship better be in a good space. Because if it’s not that I think is a sure recipe for disaster.
Cathy: Don’t open it up to fix it because it’s like having a kid to fix your relationships.
Dan: it’s so stupid..
Cathy: No… it’s going to just add a lot more stress to like go there’s some amazing relationship courses out there there’s great communication courses out there. Go figure out like what you need in your relationship get to get the issues fixed. And then if it’s solid and it’s something you really want to sustain but one or both you feel like having other partners would add to your experience. And your how you view the world and that’s …
Dan: oh you’ve got to have a proper mindset for it. you’ve got to be able to understand how to communicate, Okay guys you want another woman in your relationship you’re having problems communicating with your current partner you’re going to add another partner and it doesn’t just double it its…
Dan: Yeah it becomes an exponential issue with communications with that because now you’re introducing potential jealousy issues and well you’re communicating with her but not her.
Cathy: yeah and the new relationship energy that comes in and “like why are you enjoying her more than me?” it’s like it happens like, if jealousy with an issue before. Then jealousy is not a bad thing it’s not something to avoid it’s a signal there’s something not in need not getting that. So you know, I think the opening relationships in what other people think is a good thing can be really powerful?
Dan: I know relationships that are open that are beautiful relationships are stronger than they were before then great there have been very supportive for them.
Cathy: and I’m also seeing people try to open relationships and they imploded. so I think it’s about consent and agreement and if one of you is not interested in building a relationship that’s a good time you find a therapist or coach to work through and help you guys figure out if the relationship is sustainable or if it’d be better to end it and go your ways and find people that are benefit.
Dan: Right and you know so many people wishes do another video on this is you know the conscious breakup. like if you two are just going off in different directions you have different needs there’s no reason why you can’t move off on those different direction and so many people say seem to think that well “I suppose be married till death do us part but I want to be over here my other part my partner wants to be over there weren’t convert or diverging” we should just go ahead and diverge”
Cathy: Yeah and let’s come back and do you know what a video on. Conscious break up something that we create.
Cathy: Please comment down below, we love to know what you think.
Dan: Thanks Goodbye.