Can marriage be valid and healthy without sex?
With Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com, Andi Cortland from http://www.LevelUpSex.com and Raj.
Cathy: Do you have to have sex if you’re a married couple? I’m Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.comcom.
Andi: I’m Andi Courtland, from http://www.LevelUpSex.com
Raj: I’m Raj, I’m just the ordinary guy married to Andi.
Cathy: Thanks for being here today, I really love you sharing and I love what you talk about, because you’re a married couple and you’re not having sex.
Raj: We’re not.
Cathy: How is that a legitimate marriage if you’re not having sex?
Andi: We asked ourselves that question. We’ve been together seven and a half years now, we’ve been married five years, and I am more in love with this person than I ever have been. For a long time when our sexualities diverged we thought, ‘Wait, maybe this means that we’re not supposed to be together?’
Cathy: Yeah, because sex for many people, that’s why you get married; so you can finally have sex and be OK. I love that you are willing to look outside the box on that.
Raj: Yeah, we did have some help there. We started seeing a counselor, who especially was really good at handling not traditional relationships.
Cathy: Wonderful.
Andi: She’s amazing.
Raj: Yeah, and she helped us come to that realization that there is a lot to a marriage that’s not just sex. The partnership, the support that we have for each other, the understanding that we have for each other, the intimacy, all of that. That can all be disconnected from sex, and sex is just one aspect of a relationship. Sometimes with all the other transitions that are happening, couples might not be sexually compatible anymore, but that doesn’t mean that the relationship has to go away.
Cathy: I love that, it’s really beautiful. Because our society does say marriage has that A, B, C, D, this whole list of things to be legitimate, but I really do think as long as you have mutual respect and support, you have a relationship. Why does it have to conform to what we’ve been taught by society? The love and vulnerability between you two is beautiful to see. What are a couple of things that you’ve learned? What’s your favorite tip for someone that might be considering a marriage or a relationship that doesn’t include sex? And we’ll have to come back.
More articles on improving your communication and relationship skills:
Keep Running Into An Ex-Friend And Feel Drawn To Reconnect?
How Do You Support Your Child If He or She is Questioning Their Gender?
