How Choices Can Affect Your Life?
Monique: Look we’re going to do lots of videos
Peter: Stop beeping
Monique: What’s your website?
Cathy: It’s the http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com/
Monique: And you guys know where to find me http://www.whereintheworldismoniquedarling.com/
Peter: And I’m at http://www.awakenbodyandsoul.com/
Monique: This is Peter.
Cathy: A lot of people may not know.
Monique: Happy Saturday, happy new year, and we thought that we’d come and talk about something that’s near and dear to all of our hearts and it’s about choices and how they can affect your life and really like being able to live life on your own terms. So you want to go first?
Cathy: I’m sure were talking about how people, we want to give people freedom and we like them to have choice in our lives but it can be really easy to want to control them to get what we think we need out of it. And we had a wonderful evening last night was so much fun, and Monique and Peter going to the sharks game tonight and they inviting me along and part of me is like “oh I so want to go hang out with my friends” but I’m not a sports fan like it wouldn’t be my thing. And I do have things that I want to take care of too. So I made a choice to not go but I love that you there was no pressure it was like oh sure if that’s not what your thing is that’s cool. Whereas I think a lot of times people want to pull people along to justify what they’re doing in order to be bigger crowd or whatever it is there’s a need to like no you have to come.
Monique: Because they don’t want to miss out and so I don’t want to miss out on my friend I don’t want to miss out on my on the game and like it’s been so nice for me is because those of you that have been following along for a long time you know I hated sports like it was to drag me into a sports thing with this “no I don’t want it” and little by little then I’d much Peters joy of the game and my joy at Peter suddenly started opening up so I started getting to know these hockey players and so now each of them like I have this own personal relationship with “Oh Buttowski” scored and Marlo this about you know this is he’s like the grandfather of the team and just creating these spaces and there’s just been so much joy of being able to find how that became my thing but it was because Peter didn’t ever force me he was just like you know go watch a show go do your thing I’m going to watch the sharks and then little by well I wanted to go watch the sharks with them and then I went to my first life hockey game last year and now it’s my thing.
Peter: It’s very surprising
Cathy: If you try to make her.
Peter: So it’s pretty surprising that someone who really does not like sport like at all. Totally I mean she’s made a complete 180 I mean you’re really like authentically into it it’s really beautiful.
Cathy: But I think a lot of that if you had agenda or you needed to have her come for your own self esteem. People don’t like to be pushed against and they put their feet down there like kind of push against it. so when we have an agenda I do a lot of emotional freedom techniques when you tap on acupressure points and people like “how do I get my partner to do this thing?” and I’m like first you tap on your need for your partner to do this thing and make it so you don’t need it anymore and then if they change their mind that’s great. But you can’t you can’t use tapping to try to force somebody else you could only release your own stuff.
Monique: And we were talking about this morning like Peter and I went to go see the Avengers last year the year before when it came out was it last year anyway. Then I was so angry at the end being so here’s a spoiler so he had seen it then um the Scarlet Witch got hope to Hulk out and he only did it because he trusted her and she justified it because he needed to save the world and he did like in that case he really did but she took his choice away so how could he ever know if he would have chosen the save the world or not? And I feel like they’re so often in our lives with our children with our lovers with our parent like with our co-workers before the boss that we feel like the ends justify the means. And I feel like if you do that you’re really doing a disservice to the people in your life because you’re not allowing them to see what their natural choice would be, and I know even when the people in my life that I want to choose me because that’s a high value like I want to be chosen really badly but I’ve freely recognized that it unless they have every other choice available then what good is it I’m choosing me like it can never be enough then they need to choose me in the next moment next day and the next year and it’s really down to me choosing myself and giving them the freedom to choose anything else and then if they choose me?
Cathy: It’s long story yeah.