How Do You Clear Space For Sex?
Cathy: How do you clear space for sex? This is Dan Powers from http://www.beyondthebedroomevents.com/
Dan: And this is Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com/
Cathy: And when we go in we may have an appointment for like maybe scheduled a sex date or we’re just getting sexy with our partner all of a sudden we have we want to be to be really present and we’re like “oh my god I didn’t take out the trash I forgot to pay the electric bill I have that report to you tomorrow I forget to call my boss and tell him” It’s not very sexy there’s all this noise in the space that we’d really love to clear. And have like connected present time with our partner.
Dan: Yeah, so I’d say one of the things that I do is so I was talking earlier on another video that we actually create a schedule and put it in our calendar.
Dan: And for me that tells me that I’ve got this time blocked specifically for this. So I compartmentalize and I push all these things back. And just don’t worry about it. Another thing that I do is, I go through a little bit of sermon so I’ve done a lot of talk through teaching, and a lot of is about sacred sexuality and creating ceremony room. So, I will go through a ceremony will rule ground and as part of that grounding process let go of everything that’s keeping us from being present in the moment. I do this with clients all the time too, you know what. You know that your drive here on the traffic and any worries that you might have. Like let’s let that go let’s breathe in, breathe out just kind of feel yourself letting things go and come grounded.
Cathy: Yeah, that’s beautiful I love doing a lot of books recommend this to and it works for me. Is having a specific space. Where that’s the like this bedroom is for sexy time. It’s not for doing work it’s not for is either for sleep or sex. And not having other things. In there because Pavlov’s dogs were the only ones that could be conditioned. Or if you have put out a certain lingerie or whatever it is to let you get in the space where like this is about this time. Um, and I also some people like to division a chest or above some kind of box, that they can put all the noise in and close the box for an hour and a half or two hours. Or some people write it down like if they don’t get it down on paper it’s spinning around there. and so they write it down and maybe even physically put it a little box or leave it in another room then it’s not in that space.
Dan: Now, I really liked that idea of creating your own special room more sex.
Cathy: If you can yeah.
Dan: We actually have that of my home where we do work in there as well where we see clients. But you know there’s a bed in that room, and lots of good sex happens in there and it’s specifically room for that. So you know it’s decorated nicely, it’s got lube there, it’s got oil with water heater, or heaters so that keeps it nice and warm for us we want that we’ve got toys in there, So yeah.
Cathy: Yeah and if you don’t have a room dedicated it could be that there’s a special bedspread that you put out and some candles when you’re like it transforms the energy of the room. Or that you walk around the room of the candle like the ritual part of it rituals exist because human brain goes “Oh, that’s what this means there’s a.
Dan: Kind of Lothian respond.
Cathy: Yeah, so you can actually create your own.
Dan: I love it.
Dan: What ideas do you have?
Cathy: We’d love to know what you think. how you clear space for you to be really present during the sexy time?