How can I make videos when I’m too (insert your favorite limiter here… big, old, young).
Change that with Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com and Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com and http://SexGeekSummerCamp.com.
Cathy: We’re shooting videos to help you shoot videos. We’re talking to people that are making a difference because they learned how to at Reid Mihalko’s Sex Geek Summer Camp. We’re having a contest; he’s also from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com. I am Cathy Vartuli from thehttp://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com.
We’re having a video contest and people want to make a difference; they’re wanting to get their voice out and they’re writing us in with their “I want to shoot videos” but. The next but that we have that we want to address is physical appearance. I get this one. I’ve been there; it comes up for me a lot.
The person says I never really thought about how looked on video. I know how to dress for a presentation but a lot of flaws I would ignore in person seem glaring in this medium. There’s lighting tricks that can make it look better but it’s hard to do all of that stuff and I don’t want to just shoot random bad videos. Thinking about sock puppets but I send a bunch of time trying to solve this problem. I’m concerned what people will think. What do I do?
Reid: Everyone take a deep breath. There all right things that you can do to make sure that the video is just better and better. Think about all the hours of video you probably watched of some cat in a really messy room and never really even noticed. The video that you watched that had really bad sound and that you were straining to hear because the content was something you were interested in or you trying to learn something to solve a problem that you had. This is one of the greatest strengths that we have as sex educators is that the people may be watching your stuff and they’re dying for that information. Evidence, see, bad sound quality because of coughing. If your content’s good and you’ve tapped into the passion of why you’re doing and saying what you’re saying that’s giving you a big head start from other stuff. Can you get yourself out of your own insecurities about what the videos going to look like and practice shooting videos so that you get more and more comfortable?
You will have days when you have bad hair. I have them frequently. There’s lots of videos with me having horrible hair.
Cathy: In fact some will try to fix it during the video.
Reid: Yes and usually I say, “Wow, look at my hair in the camera. I look horrible.” Then I’m trying to fix it. You can get away with a lot in service trying to help people and also show your own humanity and vulnerability. Just don’t be lazy and show up late, a complete schlub and let’s [inaudible 00:02:43] “Hi I’m the I’m the schluby sex educator” that being said big no nos are busy patterns and things like that, super oily features so that the light is shining all off your forehead and stuff. Right now I’m sweating because it is hot in my apartment so I’m getting shiny. It’s probably okay because you’ve also watched tons of video with people who’s makeup isn’t quite perfect. Strive to get better at those things and don’t worry so much that they hold you back.
If you don’t like what you look like and you don’t like your body and you don’t like the way that you sound then this is an opportunity for you to practice so self-loving and understand that we’re all different shapes and sizes and we have all different kind of voices. Maybe you’re going to work on your voice, work performance skills and stuff in front of a camera. Maybe going to something like Sex Geek Conservatory which is the kissing cousin of Sex Geek Summer Camp and maybe not. Maybe people will fall in love with you because your voice sounds a way and it sounds and you look the way that you look.
Cathy: I used to think I had to wait until I was skinny, a size 2, to be out there and if I did there would be 1.6 million views that wouldn’t have never happened on my videos. There would’ve been people that hadn’t heard the voices that could help them get out of that. I encourage you … It’s really easy for me to say I’m too big, I’m fat, people want like it. I’ve had some pretty mean comments from people but the people that have had 100 times more, “Oh my God, thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for sharing that you feel uncomfortable and scared.” That makes a difference. If you can remember the people you are serving it’s far more important than what you look like. If you can give them voice for what they’re feeling that matters.
Reid: Hater are going to hate. Just keep on going.
Reid: Leave some comments below. [crosstalk 00:04:44]
Cathy: Shoot videos.
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