How do you have good boundaries when you’re out there in the world?

With Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com, and Andi Cortland from http://www.LevelUpSex.com.

Andi: Cathy, when you were a public figure and someone wants to connect with you but you are not really interested in connecting with them how do you handle that? 

Cathy: Great question. I’m Cathy Vartuli from the http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com. 

Andi: I’m Andi Cortland from http://www.LevelUpSex.com. 

Cathy: That is something people run into and you start either getting out there on Facebook or doing videos or dialoguing and blogs. People see you and they’re like, “Oh, my God. This person’s really cool. I’d love to get to know them. Some of them it’s wonderful to get to know and there’s no way to connect with everybody. Some people are just not a good fit or just not in my bandwidth or anyone’s bandwidth. There’s really nice ways you can kind of engage them and let them you know you appreciate them [inaudible 00:00:40] but that you’re not open to having a friendship with them. Because it can get very … Especially if you’re being vulnerable and you have people pulling at you it can be a little bit tiring. It can feel overwhelming and some people may not be getting out there and making a difference because they don’t have those question answers. I really appreciate you asking it. What I do is one, I’m not obligated to answer every email. I try but I’m busy and if someone keeps coming after me I just can … I don’t have to answer them but you can also appreciate them. I love that people ask. It takes courage to ask for what you want. Thanking them for asking, letting them know you appreciate their courage and just say, “I’m not available for that,” whatever they asked. It’s a way that you don’t open up the dialogue to a lot of discussion but you just kind of let them know gently and firmly, “This is where it is.” 

Andi: Thank you.

 

More articles about business advice:

How Do You Know If Being A Sex Educator Is Right For You?

Wanting To Speak As Part of Your Business? How Do You Get Started?