Mildest to Wildest in a Play Party, What Does That Mean?
Cathy: If you’re at a play party and someone talks about sharing their mildest and wildest, what does that mean? I’m here with Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com/
Reid: Cathy Vartuli from http://www.IntimacyDojo.com/ A play party for those of you who are just tuning in is the newfangled word for an orgy and yes there are orgies happening all over the place. What was the question?
Cathy: If someone asks
Reid: Mildest to wildest!
Cathy: Yeah. I heard you share this.
Cathy: And I love it.
Reid: So I have a very particular, I have a lot of ideas and views on how to throw play parties, there are lots of different kinds of designs but the design that I like to use is where you have a welcoming circle, an ice-breaking circle at the beginning of the workshop so that everyone is on the same page so that people feel like they they’ve met each other and one of the ice-breaking exercises, one of the rounds make for the welcome circle is the mildest and wildest which I think I got from Monique Darling
Cathy: Who runs awesome play parties,
Reid: Who runs awesome play parties and maybe it that also the mildest wildest also came from Kamala Devi, so we all steal little things from each other’s play parties because they work really well so if I’m not accrediting it, I apologize, please leave in the comments who I really got that from and it might have existed in other communities as well.
Reid: I’m probably not the first person to ever come up with this ice-breaking exercise which is you share, you go around the circle and you have people share what would be the mildest thing that could happen at the play party that they either do, or watch or help somebody pull off. What’s the mildest thing that as they’re driving home from the evening they’re like wow, that was, this was a good event and then what is the wildest thing, what is the wildest thing that you could watch or participate in or help somebody do and you’re walking home being like or driving home being like whoa this was awesome and then you have people share in a sentence or two what their mildest wildest is and that people could also pass, they don’t have to share, they could just share one but it’s a great way for people to get to know each other and also be like, I didn’t even know you could ask for that. I’m going to copy and paste that into my list of things I want to try to go for tonight or do it in another party, so it’s not about guaranteeing that any of it happens, but it’s about getting people to think about what would what would be really nice for them in either side of the spectrum and getting them to share with each other.
Cathy: Yeah and I love how it tunes people in. I’m actually thinking of about using that for regular parties too just like having go through a circle and share that because it gets people tuned in to what’s important to them and it lets other people help create it.
Cathy: And a lot of times for the mildest it’s like great conversation or a cuddle or back massage or..
Reid: Just that everyone gets home safely.
Cathy: Sometimes, but it helps people know, oh that person asked for a massage and I was encouraged like you’ve encouraged people to but be very specific on what they want because if they say, a lot of sex, it’s harder for people to get connected to that.
Reid: Where as you want , I want a foot rub while somebody makes out with me then there might be somebody like oh I love giving foot rubs, you like foot rubs, I can give you a foot rub and then somebody else’s like oh my god I love kissing, we can, I’ll kiss you while you get a foot rub and then when you share those specific things, it helps people figure out if they want to help.
Cathy: And yeah one person asks, he said he wants to practice his hand sex at the last one, that was the wild for him, he wanted to practice hand sex and I think he got 4 to 5 requests during the evening and he had a really good time but people knew what to ask him for and even if you don’t want to do that thing, maybe you’ve already done it or maybe you changed your mind, that’s okay now you have a dialogue going.
Reid: Yeah, if you’re interested in more information about sex parties, I’d go to http://www.ReidAboutSex.com/playparty I’d have more information at that link and that link doesn’t exist yet so…
Cathy: You got to get off here and do that.
Reid: I got to get off my butt. Yeah, so what do you think? How would you what would your mildest or wildest be? Leave a comment.