What We Need From You:

  1. [If we accepted your talk, you already did this!] Fill out the speaker’s agreement for your event. This gives us valuable info all in one place to promote you and your talk, and tells us where to send your money. The agreement also makes sure we’re on the same page for the tone and philosophy of the event. And we want to know if you need any special accommodations.
  2. Send us your headshot.
    – You can email them to Support@TheIntimacyDojo.com with the subject line: “Headshot for event”
    – Please send us an image showing your upper shoulders and head, with you wearing a shirt. (We are not trying to limit your expression, and we are trying to promote widely and many social media sites are conservative).
    – The image should be 2:3 ratio (2x wide, 3x high).
    – Please send JPG or PNG images.
    – Photos must be greater than 200 (w) x 300 (h) pixels, maximum file size is 4,000 x 1000 pixels and 1MB in file size.
    – If you can make sure your image has your name at the beginning of the file name that will save our technical support a lot of effort.
    – Include your name as you want to appear in the event in the email so we can track who sent their photo in.

    Also if this is something you’d like to have prepared and organized, see Speakers Kit with Reid Mihalko and Cathy Vartuli
  3. Get your affiliate link. This is event specific and will be on your Behind-the-Scenes page. For some events, affiliate links may not be available.
  4. Promote as agreed. This helps build your credibility, informs folks you’ll be presenting, and entices them and their friends to join us! You can use your affiliate link (if available) so that you make money as people sign up using your link!
  5. Show up approximately 20-25 minutes before your talk (as stated in the event’s Behind the Scene’s Info page) and stay the entire scheduled time of your talk. Make sure the session is ended before leaving. Communicate with the organizers if anything critical comes up as soon as possible.
  6. Be in communication. Please share with the organizers and/or lead volunteers if you run into any difficulties, personal emergencies, issues of harassment, or other concerns. You can always email Support@TheIntimacyDojo.com (replies for non-urgent issues may be slower during events since we’re often juggling many things. Please mark urgent communication as URGENT in the subject line to ensure we address the issue immediately).
  7. Follow the Rules of Consent. Please follow Cuddle Party rules with the volunteers, speakers, and attendees of the events.

Things To Avoid:

  • Please do not use the terms Masculine and Feminine in your presentation(s). We are an inclusive event and care deeply that those who are non-binary feel welcomed and included. We encourage words like Active and Receptive instead. (We also understand that we are always learning & upgrading and that humans sometimes misspeak and have “bad word days.” If you make a mistake and use gendered words, please acknowledge what you said, apologize and move on. If someone uses Masculine/Feminine language consistently, the organizers or lead volunteers may interrupt to invite correction. Speakers who are unable to comply will not be invited back to future events).
  • Any form of harassment. We have a strict no harassment policy. If you witness or have harassment reported to you, or even if you are unsure if something qualifies, let the organizers and/or lead volunteers know ASAP. You can always email Support@TheIntimacyDojo.com.
  • Any form of racism. This falls under harassment… And we are not just avoiding racism, we are actively anti-racist. Speaking up and letting people know we are doing our best to learn about systemic racism and how to create safe spaces is important.
  • Negative remarks about body image for all sizes, shapes, ages, and expressions. Please do not make or tolerate any jokes or objectification about bigger people, older people, smaller/larger breasts, penises, etc.
  • Do not play music with copyright during your presentation/performance. If you bought the music from iTunes or other music services for personal use, that does not give you the right to use it for groups or publications. We’ve had Facebook mute the entire sections where music is playing. Both Youtube and Facebook have removed entire videos because of music Copywrite violations, denying attendees additional time to watch/rewatch a presenter’s offering. Using copywritten music without a license is a violation of the terms of those sites. It hurts our standing with those sites, and it isn’t legal. Taking other people’s labor without compensation is not ok. Do not use music unless you have a license for large group presentations. You MAY use the music library Facebook has made available for general use. You can purchase stock music (royalty free) at sites like https://www.shockwave-sound.com
  • Do not go over your speaking time (1-2 minutes is acceptable). Going over your scheduled time, even if people are eager, makes it harder for folks to take care of themselves and lowers the energy of the next talk. Your volunteer is authorized to cut you off if you go more than 2 minutes over.

The following FAQ shares most of the online guidelines for The Intimacy Dojo events and is available to Speakers, Performers, Volunteers, and Attendees. https://theintimacydojo.com/virtual-faq/

Speakers FAQ

How Do I Know If  Speaking at Your Event Is Right For Me? Do you like contributing and having a fun time? Are you willing to promote our event, your speaking spots, and invite attendees? Do you have experience presenting and something that matches the topic/theme of our event? Are you willing to be vulnerable and to help attendees discover something new about themselves, or practice skills that make a difference around communication, relationships, and intimacy? Can you follow the list of things to avoid above? If so, we invite you to propose 1 or more talks for our next offering.

How Do Speakers Get Selected? We have a set number of spots for events.

  • We try to always include a couple of experienced speakers who can help set the tone and hold space strongly.
  • How well you speak and engage an audience and your previous experience are strong factors.
  • How well your topic matches the theme of the event.
  • The quality of your talk submission.
  • And we take into account gender, diversity, and inclusion to make sure we have a variety of perspectives.

What Are Speakers required to do?

  • Our events strive to be inclusive and we do our best to create a presence that is welcoming to people of all races, genders, sexual orientations, abilities, ages, and sizes. We ask you to support this in your language and behavior and ask that you report any issues or concerns to the event organizers at Support@TheIntimacyDojo.com as soon as possible. (We also include an anonymous reporting page on the Speaker page, Support page, and Attendee pages and emails).
  • Fill out the speaker’s agreement for your event. This gives us your valuable info all in one place so we can promote you and your talk. It also tells us where to send you any payments. The agreement also makes sure we’re on the same page for the tone and philosophy of the event. And lets us know if you need any special accommodations.
  • Promote as agreed. This helps build your credibility, informs folks you’ll be presenting, and entices them and their friends to join us!
  • Show up approximately 20-25 minutes before your talk (as stated in the event’s Behind the Scene’s Info page) and stay the entire scheduled time of your talk. Make sure the session is ended before leaving. Communicate with the organizers if anything critical comes up as soon as possible.
  • Be in communication. Please share with the organizers and/or lead volunteers if you run into any difficulties, personal emergencies, issues of harassment or other concerns. You can always email Support@TheIntimacyDojo.com (replies for non-urgent issues may be slower during events since we’re often juggling many things. Please mark urgent communication as URGENT in the subject line to ensure we address the issue immediately).
  • Follow the Rules of Consent. Please follow Cuddle Party rules with the volunteers, speakers, and attendees of the events.

How and when do you send payment(s)? As we get more people attending our events, there chance of people asking for refunds also increases. Refunds can take up to 30 days. Eventbrite pays us 4-5 business days after an event is over. We want to pay you quickly, so we pay you half of whatever monies are due you as soon as the Eventbrite payment comes in, and the final half 30-days later (The 2nd payment includes any refunds, plus additional income from post-event video package sales).

Can I go over my speaking time? No. (1-2 minutes is acceptable). Going over the schedule, even if people are eager, makes it harder for folks to take care of themselves and lowers the energy of the next talk. Your volunteer is authorized to cut you off if you go more than 2 minutes over.

Can I share a handout during class? Yes! You or your technical support person (we have some amazing volunteers) can share either a link or a document during the class in the chat. We recommend sharing several times since people who join late can’t see earlier chats.

For accessibility, please let people know you are sharing a link in the chat, since some people have trouble following along in the chat. We also recommend you use 14 point font since that makes it easier for some people to print and read.

Can I require people to leave their video on for Zoom presentations? Please reach out the organizers and share why this is important to you. Our policy is that people do NOT need to leave their videos on if they have privacy concerns. You can read more on that at https://theintimacydojo.com/virtual-faq

Can I ban private chats? Please reach out to the organizers and share why this is important to you. Our policy is that private chats are allowed and we have an attendee FAQ that includes them asking if the person they are chatting with is open to private chats before talking further with them.

Can I play music during my talk? Yes- if you have the license for it. If you bought it for personal use through iTunes or other programs, you do NOT have a license to use it for our event. Using copywritten music without a license will result in Facebook and Youtube deleting or muting your talk and you and the Festival or event may face legal issues. You are welcome to use music that Facebook has designated as public use. Find the link and information here.

Are there subtitles or captioning for the talks? No. As of August 2020 we have evaluated the capabilities available and have determined that machine transcription has too many errors to be useful and the cost of hiring people to do captioning or subtitles is more than the events can afford. We continue to evaluate and monitor changes and will update again in the future. Please note that for Speakers Kit- August 2020 and Shadows and Light Festival – September 2020 we will be test driving an AI system for captioning on certain presentations.

Why do you use pronouns after your name? For instance Cathy (she/her)? We use pronouns after our names to 1) acknowledge that not everyone has the gender we might assume they do… And that there are more than two genders, and 2) to demonstrate a willingness to address people by the pronouns that they choose. Assuming someone has to look a certain way to belong to a given gender can be harmful and hurtful. You can learn more at this wonderful site: https://www.mypronouns.org/what-and-why

Can I allow nudity during my talk? Depending on the event, nudity may be allowed. Please remember that most talks are recorded (you must get agreement from the organizers if you don’t want to record). The tech volunteer must have the speaker spotlighted to allow nudity in any recorded presentations.

Can I request changes to the Speakers agreement? You can request amendments. If you do, please share why the particular change is important to you. And please be prepared for our likely answer to be “no.” We spend a great deal of time creating our agreements and want to be consistent. Individual changes consume time and focus we’re generally choosing to focus on other tasks. Upgrades and suggestions for future upgrades are always welcome.

Do I get a copy of my talk? Yes, most of our events have the agreement that we will record your talk and send you a copy, generally within 30 days of the end of the event. Some workshops are not recorded by prior agreement, some entire events may be no-recording by prior agreement, and occasionally a technical bug could happen. Otherwise, you will get a copy of your presentation.

Do I have to have my talk recorded? Yes, unless you have specific written agreement from the organizers. This allows people to attend at different times from different parts of the world by watching the recording of your talk.

Can I do Breakout Rooms in my talk? Yes. We ask you to keep this process simple (random rooms with limited prompts) unless you let the organizers know and get their approval for more complex setups. Please let us know why you want to do so. We need to organize volunteers for this and it does take more effort and focus.

Can I use Polls during my presentation? No. We don’t have the bandwidth to set this up. If it is really important to you, please contact the organizers and let us know why. We reserve the right to repeat our no to this request.

Why do you do Facebook Lives from Zoom? We’ve found that using these two mediums (Facebook Live and Zoom) lets people opt into the space that feels safest for them, and also allows us to have the videos quickly available to the attendees.

Is the Facebook Live paused while people are in breakout rooms? No. Facebook Lives continue throughout the breakout rooms and feature the presenter and anyone in the main room.

Is nudity or sexual activity allowed in the Zoom Lounge? No. This is a shared space for people to talk and connect. Nudity is not allowed, nor is sexual activity. Please ask if someone is ok with Private Chats before diving in (you may private chat them ONCE to ask if they are ok with Private Chatting with you… If they don’t answer, please take that as a no). Any aggressive behavior or “hitting on” folks will result in the initiator being banned from the Zoom Lounge and possibly being removed from the festival.

Dating: Your agreement says I can’t date attendees I meet in events I teach at for 6 months. Why? There is an inherent power differential when someone teaches or facilitates at an event. If you have a previous relationship with a person, we don’t try to limit your expression with them.

If you meet an attendee at one of our events in your capacity as a teacher or facilitator, we ask you not to date (engage in a socially romantic or sexual manner) them for a period of 6 months. This applies to virtual and in-person dating. This does not apply to friendly socialization. If you think it might be dating… It probably is.

However, if they initiate playing/engaging with you at an erotic/intimate workshop (i.e. a facilitated play party) before the 6-month period ends, you may agree to engage with them with the understanding that play is for that container and that you will still honor the original 6-months waiting period for romantic/sexual encounters. This includes our events as well as other events.

This does not apply to dating other speakers.

Do you have a pre-event call for speakers? We generally will for summit/festival events. This is voluntary. We try to have everything organized and clear. The pre-event call is for people to get to know each other and to start creating the container. We will do our best to make this at a time that works for different time zones, and with international events, this isn’t always possible.

Do you have a post-event call for speakers? We generally will for summit/festival events. This is voluntary. This call is a place to celebrate, give feedback, and wrap up the container. We will do our best to make this at a time that works for different time zones, and with international events, this isn’t always possible.

What if I don’t know how to use affiliate links? We will send you a way to sign up for a link you can use when you promote. You can use your affiliate link to point to the event. The affiliate system automatically tracks the people who purchase through the link. You get 20% of the cost of the ticket. It does not cost the purchaser more. If you email the link to your list, depending on what your country’s regulations are (and generally good practice in transparency), you should disclose that you are using an affiliate link and that you will be paid a percentage as a thank you from the event organizers.

What if I don’t have an email list? Please contact the organizers so we can discuss alternatives. If you would like free educational videos on marketing, you can find 100+ here.

What percentage of BiPOC Speakers do you include? Our current minimum is 30% BiPOC speakers for summit or festival type events. As we identify more amazing speakers, our goal is to increase that percentage. If you’d like to nominate a BiPOC speaker, please email: Cathy@TheIntimacyDojo.com

Can Speakers Participate In Events? Yes! We encourage you to! We want you to enjoy the event and get the most out of it, too. Just please be respectful of the other speakers and don’t try to teach from the audience unless invited to do so.

I’m BiPOC, Trans, Bi, Older, Bigger, Etc., Can I be a Speaker? Yes! We see you. We appreciate you. And we welcome your talk submissions!

I’m Handicapped, Can I be a Speaker? If we can accommodate your needs, we’re glad to have you.  Please contact Cathy@TheIntimacyDojo.com to discuss what your needs are.

What If I Have To Cancel One or More Speaking Slots? We do understand that life happens. And we rely on our speakers and do considerable work behind the scenes to promote and spotlight them. Please do not sign up if you are not sure you can attend. If you need special accommodations please let us know- we will do what we can and send specific agreements in writing. Please let us know as soon as possible if you can’t speak at an event. The more lead-time the better!

What If I Have To Cancel Last Minute? Please let us know as soon as you can. Be in communication, and don’t be embarrassed. It’s when you don’t let us know that it impacts us the most. Plus, we end up worrying about you! People who don’t show up, and don’t contact us won’t be considered for another speakers spot.

What If You Cancel the Event? If the organizers have to cancel the event due to legal or medical reasons, or due to low attendance, we will give as much notice as possible. Since that would result in a refund of all income, all affiliate and speaker fees/payments would be canceled as well. This would only happen under extreme circumstances.

What If You Ask Me To Do Something I Don’t Want To Do? Cuddle Party Rules Apply… You are at choice with what you do. Please communicate with us so we know what you are a yes to and what doesn’t feel right for you.

Can I Participate with the Guests? Yes! And Cuddle Party Rules Apply. Please do not use your position as a speaker to try to influence people to play or engage with you. Be conscious of the implied status of being a speaker and be conscious of people’s boundaries and how positions of authority can complicate consent dynamics. We ask that facilitators and speakers (and organizers) do not initiate with an attendee or volunteer. If an attendee or volunteer initiates with you, you may accept.

Do I Have To Participate with Guests? No! Cuddle Party Rules Apply… Same with play parties, too! During events, you get to opt in or out of participating in any activity and don’t ever have to do anything with anyone. Speakers, just like attendees, are encouraged to change their minds.

What If Someone Makes Me Uncomfortable or My Consent Is Violated? Please tell one of the organizers right away. It doesn’t matter if the person is a guest, volunteer, speaker, co-facilitator or host. We want to know! If you don’t feel comfortable telling anyone directly, you can email Cathy@TheIntimacyDojo.com or you can use our anonymous reporting system to inform us: TheIntimacyDojo.com/feedback