What Can You Do If Someone Misuses “Feminism” For Their Own Agenda? (new w/ outro)

What Can You Do If Someone Misuses “Feminism” For Their Own Agenda? (new w/ outro)

What Can You Do If Someone Misuses “Feminism” For Their Own Agenda? (new w/ outro)


Jet: I heard on  Facebook where they were talking about this new trend in fuck boy feminism where it’s basically some asshole misusing the label feminist or feminism in order to further their own agenda and they were manifesting it or this one example I should say this guy I guess he’s into sext or something and he’s was talking about if you are a true feminist you would have no problem showing me a picture of your boob because it’s in your body blah blah and it’s like..


Cathy: So he’s trying to use feminist as a way to annihilate consent.


Jet: Yeah!


Cathy: Wow! This is Jet Appling from http://www.JetNoirMuse.com  and I’m Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com and what would you say to this person Jet?


Jet: Well, whatever I said to this person I would need to say it with my words to their ear not in the type of message because I feel like that’s were a lot of break down happens but I would kind of take that person to a tour, just a silent watching tour to various neighborhoods to let them really see what’s what’s happening to women when they walk down the street, you know. And I would say this is the shit they have to deal with of course I imagine if I had a wand I would make you into a woman for days so that you can feel like when you walk down the street but since we’re not in the area near Potterland, I don’t have that wand I just want you to watch. When I, I’m sure you’re familiar with the video of the woman walking through Brooklyn for 10 hours.


Cathy: It’s a great video.


Jet: And so a lot of people, a lot of men made fun of that like oh people said hi to her big deal, I’m like the thing that you’re missing is that you need to pay attention for what is happening to what is not happening. What is not happening is those people that said hi to her they didn’t say hi to the old man walking behind her, they didn’t say hi to you know the orderly woman that was walking in front of her, they didn’t say hi to anyone but her.

Cathy: Well and the tone of the hellos and the tone of the like well the words weren’t bad but the way they were said was implied sexuality like hey baby kind of thing.


Jet: And I never, I was in San Diego and I was waiting on some foods so I was sitting outside and this guy who’s sitting there reading the paper and 20 people must have walked by, he didn’t say a word one to them and an attractive female walked by and he really loud and gruffle like hi how are you and she was kinda surprise and she said hello in response and then as she walked away he said something kind of looking at me almost looking for me to cosign and he said that wasn’t so hard, was it? And I’m just like what the fuck do you feel like she owes you anything, you know and to answer your question what I was saying to this fuck boy feminist is why do you feel like any woman anywhere owes you a fuckin response, you know? And growing up and till this day I still have more female friends than male because of circling back to what I said and I think the first video of about being bully. It created a lot of trust issues where all of this men that were claiming to be friends of mine turning around and started beating me up so they could just show off to the other males and that just didn’t register with me and I’m like yeah if I could just go over here and talk with these girls so that we could just hang up and laugh and have fun then these are the people I’m going to be friends with coz none of them trying to fight me you know. And so it’s  the same till this day,I still have more female friends so I’ll never say I know what a woman go through that’s not true coz I’m not a woman. However, I hear the stories, I see it from a different perspective and while there are only little things that I can do on a case by case basis that help combat it is such still a big fight that I feel like we need a lot more men to see it emphatically from the side of women and what they have to endure daily.


Cathy: Yeah. Now I think that’s it’s it is really hard. And to use feminism against the very thing we’re using to fight for our rights to use it against someone and say you should show me your boobs because if you’re a feminist it doesn’t matter that’s not how it works.


Jet: It really isn’t. And something I address really very quick is that I wrote a post earlier this year on Facebook about how I do all of the things I take all of the steps to ally myself with women and help when I can and then shut down the conversations that men take down woman over here however, I don’t use the label feminist when it comes to myself. When I wrote this a lot of people understood my point which is my actions are more important than labels. There are few people that didn’t understand my point and they felt like I was shying away from the label of feminist and that’s not the case. I’m not shying away from the label it’s just I have found that when I watch men say I’m a feminist 9 times out of 10 they get it wrong and they start lecturing the woman how they should be and it’s not feminism. And then the other thing that will happen is they won’t use it as a sort of social or trying to garner a social points. So they’ll say I’m a feminist want to go out and it’s just like what the fuck and those because of those two stigmas that’s why I’m not really embracing the label but I found that especially with what’s happening in the recent election and how all of us need to step up in the coming years for change to actually happened. Activism is the thing that requires action not typing on the screen and so in doing that in recognizing that I should say yes I do identified as a feminist now will I will I use it for social place or elect a woman or anything no god, I hope not I never take that drug that makes me turn that into that person, okay? But I am a feminist but much a lot of people got upset about the safety pins and when I say got upset what I mean is people don’t give a fuck about  a safety pin they care about your actions and I feel like it’s the same thing with feminism. My actions to shut down the conversation that is disrespectful to woman is far more important than the label however it should be known. Yes, I’m a feminist I have no problem with the label.


Cathy: Yeah. No I think that we should be able to label ourselves however we choose it’s our actions that count. I’ve kind of like the safety pin idea just because yeah some people would use it to make themselves feel better and just be arm chair supporters but I think if I was in a crowd of people and I saw that enough people have bothered to put a safety pin on them. If I was being attacked I would feel a little bit more supported and I hope at least one of the people would call 911 or some of them might with stand up on me. So I kind of like the visual thing I think enough people are have put it down than it’s not caring what it was I think it’s nice to be visible sometimes if we can.


Jet: I don’t know if you saw that video of the woman in Kentucky that started chatting all these racial epithets at the the Latino women.


Cathy: No, I didn’t see that one.


Jet: So, it probably will last 3 or 4 days or so it went viral they’re just these 2 Latino women in line I think they were at some department store or something like that and this white woman started saying horrible horrible things to them that were race specific and a lot of people ask the same question like, I wonder how many people standing around in this long line of people have on a safety pin and I think that’s the mentality it’s like while I understand it’s nice to feel safe. I actually want to see somebody jump to action. People of my family they’re cops, they’re in the military and I come from that mentally of if something needs to be done you step up and you do it.


Cathy: Yes, yeah and hopefully be educated on what to do and how to do it so it don’t escalate. And there are some really good resources out there. So yeah, thank you so much Jet. Is there anything else you want to add on that?


Jet: Nope.


Cathy: Great! If you have comments and questions please leave them below in the in the comment section.

By |2017-08-28T17:17:41+00:00March 25, 2018|Body Image, Dating, Flirting, Relationship Skills, Sex Geeks|