Stories to Reduce Shame: Bawdy Storytelling
How can telling Dirty Stories reduce shame and bring you self-expression and a sense of freedom? Join Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com as she interviews Dixie De La Tour from http://bawdystorytelling.com/ and some of the amazing story tellers, including Allison Moon from http://www.TalesOfThePack.com , Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com , FleurDeLis from http://fleurdelissf.com and others.
Cathy: Hi, this is Cathy Vartuli from http://TheIntimacyDojo.com, and we’re here today with Dixie De La Tour from Bawdy Storytelling and some of her fabulous storytellers.
I encourage you to check out the site, and if you’re in an area where they’re telling a story, go check it out because it was amazing for me. I got to hear people telling honest, authentic stories.
They’re really vulnerable, and hysterically funny. And it helps you see that things aren’t scary. You’re not alone with your stories in your head, your experiences. “Oh my God, in college I did this, and was the only one that ever felt that way.” So would you guys like to share a little about Bawdy?
Dixie: Well, I think part of the reason it started for me is, I realized there’s all these different communities. We don’t talk to each other, and we all have the same story. I mean, the details are different, but the reason how we got there. We all were pulled toward something – the adventure.
It’s not always a successful adventure, but you learn about yourself. There’s a moment of transformation where you go “Ah! I’m going to walk away with that tidbit, aren’t I? Now I know that about myself.” What would you guys say about Bawdy?
Reid: I feel like we’re in sort of a Bing Crosby movie. I’m looking at the computer to see you guys, and I’m realizing that the people who are watching are probably like, why is Reid staring at us? (laughing) But it’s easier than me being “Ahhhh…” (laughing) Ummm… what was the question? (laughing)
Holly: I have an answer that I’d like to jump in with it, that Bawdy is like the revival tent of old sex. Like you go there, you might be uninspired, you might think you’re alone, and you go there and you hear something from a different community of alternative sexuality that maybe you’re a part of and you’re cheering for all the obscure references, or maybe you’re left out but you’re loving that people have a code that you don’t know yet. And you leave inspired. And you talk to people at the show.
Reid: What do you hear things people that are into that you’re into that you’ve never heard anyone talk about in public before? Because I think the other thing with people who are kind of looking for their sexuality or things that turn them on the Internet is you actually never hear anybody in a real live space talk about something that you’re interested in, or something that you have been curious about.
So the Internet, while you can find your… You can realize that you’re not alone, isn’t the same as having somebody tell a story, especially a humorous one in a live event. So on the Internet, while you can feel like there are people that are your species, you never get to meet them so not meeting them in person creates this weird effect sometimes too.
Ben: And even if it’s not like a particular thing that you wanted to hear somebody talk about, I found that it was really nice to just hear people humanize the experience of sex.
Sometimes it’s really easy for me to get caught up in my head, hearing people talk about porn or their scene or their website or their group, it’s like, sex is so glamorous and perfect for everyone except for me! (laughing) And somehow, it manages to make it seem okay, like I have that really funny thing that was super embarrassing because somebody else had something equivalent. I was like, “Oh my God, we’re all in this together. So relieving.”
FleurDeLis: But it’s also not just funny. A lot of it is funny – most of these stories do have humor in them, but there’s also that point where a lot of people share very intimate things about themselves that aren’t very funny at times, so you relate to that. You know?
You have that personal experience with that as well. There are times I go to Bawdy and I laugh hysterically, and there are times when you stop and say, “Yeah, that happened to me. I know that that happened.” So in that respect, it’s very nice when you can go somewhere and you can hear things like that. It’s not group therapy. You can just sit there and help someone talk about themselves.
Reid: Yes. It’s not therapy, but it can be therapeutic.
Allison: Right. It’s witnessing. It’s witnessing and mirroring. It’s getting to see yourself in a real person who’s five feet away from you, instead of on the Internet far away.
And some people I have heard refer to it as their church, which is pretty intense, but at the same time, for a lot of people, that kind of feeling, that kind of soothing that only happens in a space where you’re allowed to laugh and you’re allowed to cry, and you’re allowed to feel really comfortable amongst other people. It’s great.
Reid: That would make you our church leader. (cheers)
Dixie: Can I be an evangelist?
Cathy: You would make an amazing evangelist.
Dixie: For sex!
Cathy: I would join that church.
Dixie: Thank you! (laughing)
Cathy: So if you would like to see some of their shows, they do have some on YouTube. Just search for Bawdy Storytelling. They’re amazing, wonderful stories.
Dixie: It’s B-A-W-D-Y.
Cathy: Thanks very much.
Dixie: Thank you!
Everyone: BYE! (cheers)
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