Is It True That Men Don’t Have To Masturbate and Their Partners Should Do It For Them?
Cathy: In response to our video in masturbation someone wrote in and says the guy doesn’t have to masturbate his wife or girlfriend can do if or him. He should never have to jerk off if he has a woman and if he has a foot fetish, she can use her sexy feet to squeeze around his penis with some lubrication until he lets go.
Reid: That sounds like somebody’s wants us to answer this video so that they can share it with their friend and lover.
Cathy: I would hope so. This is Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com
Reid: This is Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com. Okay first off love that you wrote in and we have a lot of people who have strong opinions who leave comments and we love you and even the haters we love you too, okay? My first thing is sex is a get to not a have to or a should. Stop shoulding people, shoulding on people ladies and gentlemen most people don’t like it.
Cathy: Even if you have a partner who likes to help you to get off, it’s really nice to have the power to take care of yourself and just the right way or just because you want to connect with yourself.
Reid: Yeah. Old values and attitudes that if we have a partner they have to be our sexual you know outlet or sexual releasers or whatever that is, sexual provider. I think the world just runs better if we make that rule disappear like we pretend that was bad rule, culture give it to us in somewhere we picked it up, we’ve outgrown it. And it’s an invitation for like hey honey you know, since we are in a relationship would you care to such and such.
Cathy: Yeah. It’s like I can take care of my sexual needs, you can take care of your sexual needs and if we happen to want to take care of them together then that’s wonderful and a lot of couples like that’s great.
Reid: And while you might have a preference like you much would much rather be with your partner than masturbate what I will say is, as a penis owner me exploring masturbation and really kind of spending time with myself and my body has a lot of great benefits. One I get to know what I like and which helps me teach other people what I like. I get to be able to be resourceful and take care of my sexual needs my one-on-one sexual needs with myself which can help not me being this like starving mode know you have to help me get off and I’m deepening and developing relationship with myself and my genitals and my own sexiness.
Cathy: And what feels good and how and when we can share it with our partners?
Reid: Because especially for American culture like I don’t assume that this person is from America but like we don’t do a lot to promote deep nuanced conversation about sexuality so why would anyone in America have this deep nuanced understanding of the benefits and the sexploration of masturbation. I’m also going to say as a penis owner you may want to explore masturbation sleeves, I’m a big fan of flashlight and blew it are the two masturbation sleeves that I proudly own and those can be really fun because sometimes your preferences for master why you don’t like masturbation is you don’t like using your own hand. Masturbation sleeves let me tell you try it out ladies and gentlemen and I do mean everyone because giving somebody a hand job with masturbation can be seriously fun, not that I would know that.
Cathy: And if you have a foot fetish and you’re with a consensual partner even you’re having them in this case jerk you off with your feet. If you know how your penis likes to be stimulated because you played around it with different things with your hand you can tell your partner “Oh, I really loved a lot of sensation near the top or you can be much firmer near the bottom or different things like that, that can make that even more exciting.
Reid: So again, none of this happens without having conversations and if all you’re doing is shoulding on people on it tends to go horribly wrong. Leave some questions. What do you think? Use some lube too, that changed my life.