Filling Your Tanks:

When our tanks are empty, or we haven’t gotten needs met in a long time, it’s hard to feel grounded or to hear no! How can you fill your tanks up, and get your needs met? Just like you wouldn’t go to a fancy dinner so hungry that you start eating off everyone’s plates with your hands, you can get your tanks filled other ways!

  • Get or trade massages with friends.
  • Practice good self-care, getting enough rest, healthy food, connection, and support to feel good about yourself.
  • Take deep breaths to help your body ground and calm regularly. If a bear were chasing us, we wouldn’t take slow deep breaths. Do a bio-feedback jiujitsu and let your brain and body know it can relax.
  • If you get turned on easily or haven’t connected with someone sexually recently, masturbate, especially before sexual or touch-based events. Learn to know your body and enjoy it.
  • Make sure you have same-gender, non-sexual friends who you can talk to and feel supported by!
  • Drink enough water. Dehydration stresses the body and signals the brain that there is a lack of resources.
  • Evaluate what society says you need versus what you actually need. Believe it or not, humans function great without sex. They do experience skin hunger and need social connection.
  • Humans can exchange massage, hugs, and cuddles that are non-sexual. Even same-sex people! Men who are getting connection and touch from other men can often feel safer to women! Really!
  • Watch your self-talk. Are you super critical of yourself? That can leave you feeling empty (I know!). Upgrade your self-talk or find a coach, therapist or group that can help you with that.
  • How else can you feel fulfilled and grounded before you venture out to new experiences?