Tip #3, how can you build engagement with your business and personal life. With Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com. and Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com.
Reid: 3 is the magic number. This is Business Advice video 3.
Cathy: Because we’re really meta and geeky, this also applies to relationships. I found that this really helps me with relationships of all kinds. I’m so sorry, guys. I can’t get him to leave. He just keeps getting in the videos.
Reid: Yet you keep posting these videos.
Cathy: I know. I don’t know why.
Reid: What’s the third bit of advice, Cathy Vartuli from http://TheIntimacyDojo.com?
Cathy: Reid Mihalko from http://ReidAboutSex.com, the third piece of advice that applies for business and personal life is to share your story. Tell who you are and where you’re coming from and why. If people don’t do this, a lot of times we think that people know or they don’t care. I used to do that. I would wonder why people didn’t really relate to me. They didn’t remember me at parties. They glazed over.
I just felt like there was nothing, no connection there, but then I realized that I was not sharing any of myself. I wasn’t sharing my mission or what I cared about, so there was nothing for them to actually remember.
When I started sharing what I call ugly duckling moments, those moments that you don’t want anyone else to know about or those things you want to hide … When I shared them as an empowered person, as someone who wanted to make a difference in the world, people started paying attention and connecting on a different level.
Reid: We remember stories. For those of you who are brain geeks, you already know this, but story telling engages lots of different parts of your brain. It helps you remember information and it also helps anchor the people that are telling the story.
Again, use this for good, never for evil. You telling true stories about yourself, not made up bullshit, will help create a bridge for people to connect with you. When you’re sharing vulnerably what you’re role modeling for them is 1, they can be more vulnerable. 2, they don’t have to be perfect because usually our ugly duckling stories are about not being perfect. They end up connecting with you in a more powerful way.
You end up putting their brains in a better place to receive information and retain it. If you’re actually trying to educate people and transform their lives, these are things you need to be doing. You can set the privacy setting on that. You don’t need to be telling people all about your personal life if that’s not appropriate.
At the same time, you standing up there and being like, “I am the perfect expert guru. Nothing is wrong with me,” is actually, in this day and age especially, costing you business and will keep you from transforming people’s lives more.
Cathy: People want to find people they can trust. If they know what your story is and what your mission is and what you care about, they feel safer. I just recently had the privilege of being on Jeff Walker’s stage to get to share about his mastermind, which is amazing.
Reid: Who’s Jeff Walker?
Cathy: Jeff Walker does Product Launch Formula. It’s how to launch your business and launch different products. It’s an amazing program. It’s very systematic. It allows you to give a lot of value and invite the people that are ready to buy. I’m a huge fan. I’ve been part of his mastermind last year and this year. He asked people to share some of their experiences about being in the mastermind at his last live event.
I shared what I considered an ugly duckling moment. Last year when I signed up, I was so scared. It was such a big step and so much money for me. I was literally crying when I turned my application in. I got to share that I went from being so scared that I was crying … Not just sniffling, just crying, crying … When I turned in my app- Thank you, Reid. He was there.
Reid: We’re talking snot out the nose crying. It was awesome.
Cathy: I was really scared. Making that step and that investment in myself had been huge. Here I am on Jeff’s stage and getting to share with all these people and how important it is that whether they join a mastermind or whatever, that they get out there and share their message, that we’ve gotten to share with our first launch. We made decent money, good money.
We also got to sell our product to people in 71 countries, which was like a light going on in each of those countries, and that’s what mattered to us. By sharing that vulnerably, people understood that I cared about people living better lives. They got to hear that I wasn’t perfect, but that I really cared and that I was willing to walk through fire if I needed to to get my message out and help people live better lives.
Reid: That was so inspiring to that audience of 700 people that Cathy got her first standing ovation.
Cathy: It was amazing.
Reid: All around you having the courage to actually share vulnerably and walk this talk and how you can touch and inspire people. Again, don’t try to fake it because that’s horrible. You will be caught in lies and then people won’t trust you. When you have the courage and the boldness to be open and vulnerable with people …
For me, as a sex and relationship educator, why that’s important is you’re teaching people how they should actually be in their relationships with the people that they love, rather than trying to be perfect and have their act together and hide all the imperfections. It’s the imperfections that are helping people realize they don’t have to be perfect too and they get to open up with you. This is why this bit of business advice is actually good relationship advice.
Cathy: One of the things I realized … I was so touched when all those people stood up and were cheering. In that moment, I realized because I had shared vulnerably, I was letting them see the wonder in themselves, I was helping them tune into what they wanted to create. Really they were standing and cheering for themselves, I think. They were standing for the wonder in themselves.
If you’re willing to share yourself vulnerably, you allow people to see themselves in your mirror. That’s just the most incredible gift you can give anyone. I really encourage you share your story. Practice with different people. Find out what you want to share with the world and make a difference.
Reid: What was the takeaway from this video? Please leave it below and tune in for more. Bye.
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