Cathy: Someone wrote in and said what do I do with my eroticism and my personal politics collide such as feminists who likes to be called girl by her lovers or black American who likes to be tied up and help captive for a little while. Am I broken? This is Reid Mihalko from

Reid: Cathy Vartuli from Who wrote this in, you awesome person for writing in questions?

Cathy: We love it when you’re writing questions and you’re always welcome to leave them in a private messages.

Reid: Good lord! They’re going to be writing in questions like what’s going on with his hair in this video.

Cathy: Yes.

Reid: Alright. Question, answer. Go!

Cathy: So, realize that because you find something erotic doesn’t mean you’re giving up on your politics. You can definitely deserve to be treated equally and as important as a female or a person of color and still enjoy different things in the bedroom. It’s okay to explore different experiences or find different things erotic, doesn’t mean that you’re violating politics.

Reid: What is erotic is often bad which is taboo or verboten or forbidden or off-kilter or maybe not even politically correct or any of those things. What turns you on is simply what turns you on and your brain is one of your biggest sexual organs. You’re allowed to have all of your politics and then have “transgressive” stuff be a turn-on in bed and you’re allowed to like that it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

Cathy: I also personally think I was abused as a child and sometimes exploring some of those energies consciously in a container, lets us understand them better. It doesn’t mean that we want to be abused, it just means that understanding the energies of that can be really intriguing.

Reid: Or an active reclamation. You’re intentionally playing with those energies as a choice rather than having stop forces.

Cathy: Yeah or you can stop it or change it or influence how it goes.

Reid: So, while we’re not psychologist or doctors nor we play ones on the internet, you are not broken. We have concluded our diagnosis that you are completely human and awesome. Please leave more comments and questions.

Cathy: Thanks so much for asking these kind of questions. I know they are very vulnerable and they’re tough to look at but when you ask it, thousands of people, other people get to hear the answer and maybe those are too shy to ask or some don’t have the clarity to tell that question right now.

Reid: What do you think? Food for thought. Share your opinions internet.