When something bad happens and we don’t feel like we have any power to change or fix the problem, we often freeze.
This is a normal response to trauma. If you were a wild animal, you’d quickly shake off the trauma and move on. Most humans have been trained our of the healthy release patterns, so we end up staying frozen. The pattern gets STUCK in your system.
The problem is, if you’ve been “frozen” in one area of your life for a long time, you may not even notice it anymore. You may take how you feel for granted… think that there’s not much you can do about it.
I was there.
Over all, my life was great! The one area I felt stuck in, I didn’t think I could do anything about.
I wasn’t finding romance. I wasn’t even dating. I think I was subconsciously expecting to eventually trip over the right person, and I’d fall miraculously in love and live happily ever after. Only it wasn’t happening…
I kept trying to understand why this wasn’t working for me and just not getting it.
Luckily, my friend Rick Wilkes had seen some of Reid Mihalko’s practical, down-to-earth articles. Perhaps out of frustration at hearing me complain for the thousandth time that I wasn’t meeting anyone, he suggested I work with Reid.
I’m so glad I did! Working with Reid, I found that there were specific skills and techniques that I never learned growing up. Not the manipulative, sleazy suggestions I’d read in the self-help and dating books and could never bring myself to use. These were honest, authentic ways to open up and connect. Suddenly, things clicked into place.
Using these new skills, I’ve been dating regularly… and meeting some wonderful people. In fact, I’ve had more requests for dates than I can fit in my schedule. I’m enjoying the warm connection, laughter, and clear communication. And I feel more confident and relaxed with friends and at work, too.
I’m not saying this to brag… I love how my life has opened up and how much affection and delight I have now, and I want you to know it’s possible for you, too.
All the excuses I had were just fear stopping me from moving forward. They were just the frozen part of me staying stuck.
I thought I might be too old (I’m 44), overweight (I’ve lost weight, and I have more to lose), not pretty enough, too geeky. And none of that matters.
One of my favorite quotes is by Rumi: That which you seek is seeking you.
There are some amazing people longing for the connection and love you have inside you. And you can learn how to find them and make it easy for them to find you.
If you’re already in a relationship, these skills and techniques can re-ignite your fire (despite what conventional wisdom says, the spark doesn’t need to go out after the first initial rush!).
When people feel empowered around love, they have more to offer the world. The more generous, authentic, loving people there are, the more abundance we all have. You can create that for yourself, starting today!
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