Cathy: How do I stop myself when I’m future tripping for example, my primary partner doesn’t call or text me back in a few hours I start feeling like I’m not important to him anymore therefore we’re gonna break up, etc. I take these things too far.
Reid: I think I like to get myself back to the future too.
Cathy: Do you have any banana pills?
Reid: I do, in my pants. It’s Cathy Vartuli from www.TheIntimacyDojo.com
Cathy: Reid Mihalko from www.ReidAboutSex.com
Reid: And what we were actually doing?
Cathy: So this person wrote in and said, how I stop myself when start going down to rub a hole into future trip even just imagining what this something that did or did not happened can mean for a future. Making up stories for the future.
Reid: So my advice is gonna be a little bit dependent on just how you deal with anxiety and how your spin out style in your own head and your nervous system. What I like to do is because I’m a jack ass even to myself…
Cathy: At least you’re consistent.
Reid: At least I’m consistent. Is I will a good day remember that I should write down the worst case scenario I could possibly come up with for what’s happening?
Cathy: He isn’t texted back because aliens invaded and in sky..
Reid: No, that’s not the worst. No aliens please. No. But it’s like I’m gonna write out like the Armageddon version of I, they are dead somehow I looked like I kill them.
Cathy: Ohh. That’s really bad.
Reid: I’m going to jail like whatever it is again it could be aliens. Aliens came down from space, they brought a new disease with them, is now a zombie apocalypse. I’m not be able to find them because the zombie has actually chasing them. Like I’m gonna go start up small but then take the momentum that I’m starting to do in my head. And I’m gonna turbo charge it and use my imagination to make it into exaggerated until I start giggling on how silly this is. Now, it’s not gonna work for everyone nervous system or how your relationship with your brain and your mind. However, by me exaggerating it, I’m the one in control now. It’s just not spinning out in my head where my evil hamster of insecurities around this squeaky hamster wills of death and the breathing. But I’m now harnessing my agency, my creativity with my own imagination and kinda taking control of the wheel a little bit while just punching the pedal to the middle. Now for me that’s an active empowerment and I’m taking my unrealistic thoughts or maybe they aren’t realistic but my not undocumented but my ambiguous thoughts, I’m taking with them and I’m running with them as a form of taking charge and I’m writing them out which gets them out of my head on paper which makes them more silly and more concrete rather than just a morphis were they have a lot of power in here. As one mentor of mine said this is a bad neighborhood, I get mug up here and then I like that and I help the muggers. So it likes, that’s how I would deal with it and you’re mileage may vary coz you hitting punching it and turbo charging it may actually make it worst for you so it might not work for everybody.
Cathy: I do a little differently, I was raised by my mother was super caring person and she was raised with the beliefs if you worry about things that won’t happen so if you focus on being apocalypse it will somehow you worry about enough it will not happen.
Reid: I’m creating a morphic field.
Cathy: So yeah, what you worry and they’re even the same on what you worry on what happen. It’s a common belief. I notice when I start doing that I asked myself why I am doing this. I’m worrying about this person because I care about them. I like having them in my life. [Inaudible 00:04:15] and they get to my brain out of anxiety and gratitude so it gives me an action. I’m not texting them over and over again and trying to get the fear when it raise because the fear is there, because I’ve learned that’s a good way to protect someone I love. So if I express the love and gratitude to what I have with them it kind of short circuit that and it helps me get in into different walks of energy.
Reid: Okay. That’s good. Alright, what are your ways? Yeah, share share.
Cathy: And write your comments below to or questions you have we love getting them.
Reid: I’m worried. What if you won’t leave comments?
Cathy: What if they won’t ask any questions?
Reid: Oh my god, what does it mean?