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Energetic Sex: What Is Pragmatic Tantra?

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Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com and Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com discuss energetic sex, and how being aware of this can make connection more electric!

Cathy: Hey everyone, this is Cathy Vartuli from http://TheIntimacyDojo.com. I’m here with Reid Mihalko from http://ReidAboutSex.com. Reid, can you tell us a little bit about energetic sex? You give a great workshop on it.

Reid: Yes. Thank you for saying it was great. Energetic sex is something I started teaching a couple of years ago and it’s kind of an offshoot of Tantra.

Cathy: But more pragmatic.

Reid: More pragmatic. That’s why I call my workshop Energetic Sex for Pragmatists. The reason I call it that is I have a lot of friends who are skeptics and like science with a capital S, and like things to be measured. When things can’t be measured, they don’t necessarily think are proven yet and metaphysics is a weird word for them. Basically I was really curious, how do you teach experiences to people where we don’t have language necessarily? Americans, especially English is a horrible language for sexual terms, especially nuanced sexual terms. It’s like we have four words, they’re all dirty.

Then how do you talk about experiences where you don’t necessarily have science for them but they still might be happening. So that was my foot in the door of being a geek about it, because I was having experiences that would fall under the category of mystical, and it was definitely something I was experiencing, and I’m enough of a geek to be like what’s going on. There is stuff that I arrived at that I don’t have explanations for, there’s no science for yet, but something’s happening and it seems to be somewhat reproducible. That lays the groundwork for how I come at energetic sex. And I don’t need to believe in something or understand how something works to be able to take advantage of it.

Cathy: Right. I don’t know how to fix the engine on my car but I can still drive it.

Reid: You can still drive it around. I can walk in and flip a light switch, or plug in my computer, but I don’t need to understand electricity or electronics. From that perspective then, energetic sex becomes something interesting because there is a way to look at sensation and break it down to something even more subtle. A lot of us in our day-to-day lives, we’re just going so fast or have been role modeled poor habits, that we’re not actually listening to people’s bodies, or are unable to listen to ourselves. One way to think of it is an embodiment experience, just being in your body feels electric, or that you’re learning how to listen for things that most people can’t hear and you develop an ear for that when you’re playing with people.

Cathy: Can we do another video where we kind of go into that a little bit more?

Reid: Absolutely. This was the teaser for the next video. What I will leave you with in this video is the analogy of if you’ve ever made a wine glass try to sing. What you’re paying attention to is pressure, how hard you’re pushing on the rim, friction, how much “µ”  for my scientists out there. And rate, or frequency, the number of times you go around, the speed. Come back in the next video and I’ll explain why that’s important for energetic sex.

Cathy: That’s great.

 

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